What is it with the people in this City?
Is it the people or just the people I choose to associate with?
I feel like my mind sometimes takes a back seat when it comes to the descions I make.
I meet people everyday.
Fascinating folk they are.
Everyday, someone new.
Same ol story.
This week though, I had an experience I will never forget.
I'm not here putting people on Blast, but really i had to write about it.
Demons.
Lots of Demons.
We all have them yet some of us never let them out until the time is too late or we have no control. I say, embrace them, otherwise you will be eaten alive by them.
My demon: I cant not stop taking Risks.
I met someone last week who seemed amazing.
Carefree, traveler, spontaneous, exciting, thrilling, exotic, sexual, Dominant, witty, arrogant, narcissistic, unruly, determined, energetic, playful, devious.
All the things I am.
Demons forced me to take the risk, swallow not only my pride and move to meet this person.
I did.
Amazing.
New side of the spectrum till....
He prolonged not enough to tell me that during one of his travels to another country he went through a phase, unlike any other I have heard of, that he found himself attracted to the same sex, but transvestite. He indulged in this and had "beef" about it.
I have to say. I cant judge a person I know nothing about by what they do. Its not seen in society as norm, but things like this happen. I'm not meeting someone and sizing them up on what kind of father they would be or how quickly I can jump in the sack with them, based on their past experiences. We have all stepped over the boundaries at one point and never looked back.
The next line is what got me more than anything.
I have or "had" HPV. He says.
This is not the first time a man has been open with me on this subject.
I admire the fact of his honesty, but my doubt set in. Just like it did last time.
Am I ready to deal with something like that?
Take that kind of a risk?
I enjoy Risks, but I think this made me redefine my definition of "Risk".
When is too much Risk enough to make us step back and really focus on whats important?
I'm no cookie cutter gal, but I do find I have limits. Some Hard and yes, some Soft.
This was a limit for me.
Is it due to not enough information on the subject?
Is it due to society placing a "voodoo" on people that have had a form of an STD?
I have really redefined myself this week.
Definitely had things put into perspective.
I read a blog today that had a perfect line in it.
It was a line like no other I have ever read, but it hit Home for me.
It summed up how I have been feeling but have not been able to put into words, until now.
"My Cunt is just Exhausted"....
Will someone please, just fuck my brain instead?
To be continued...
