"I don't want your Love...."

Words. Funny little things. Everyone uses them. Few use them properly. Whether written, spoken or gestured, their power is intangible. Written in conversations or constitutions they can be freeing and protective. Used in society as labels they can be restrictive. We were taught as kids "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Could anything be further from the Truth?

Words are Powerful, so I will choose mine wisely.

I know I dreamed you to be.........You were sent into Life.

The things You wanted,
I had them for you.
You know I can not let you just slide through my hands.

Watch me Suffer

'"I don't want your love,"
I told her.

I think she took it the wrong way.

Baby, baby, baby,
come back, come back...
you didn't let me finish.

I said I don't want your love
for tax purposes.

I don't want your love
bearing the twin corpses
of tradition and overpopulation
in its arms like
dusty wedding garments.

I don't want your love
steeped in the bitter waters of jealousy,
dripping self-righteous rage in my eyes
when I look astray
and no, I don't want you
to make my bed....

I want you to help me mess it up.

I want your love raw and bleeding,
pulsating, delirious.

I want your love to rip through your body
like electricity, your back arching spasmodically
your frame barely able to contain it all.

I want your love sevenfold:
once for each of my senses
and twice more to make sure
it takes it rightful place
among the Great Wonders of the World!

I want your love
dripping from my beard
when I come up for air,
and I resent the air,
I resent the fact that I need it
when all I want to do is plunge
back into the Great Divide.

I am facing the place we came from.

Tonight,
I want your love
to bloom like a rose,
and I fully expect your thorns
to mark my back.

I'll find your most ticklish spot
and slap it
while I bite your second most ticklish spot!

I'll stick my tongue so far into your ear
I'll taste brains,
and I'll make you cum them out!

I'll overload your senses,
caressing your every part with mine
until I'm like ten lovers,
and just between you, me,
and this room full of sexy people,
tonight I'll make you scream
louder that I can!

Tonight I want your love
sweating and panting,
collapsing, then napping
in the perfect moment
before conversation
becomes relevant again.

We have pushed each other's bodies
to the breaking point
and kept each other safe-
it feels like our lives
were in each other's hands.

This is love.

No monogamy,
no drama,
no bullshit....
just love.

Call it lust if you want,
but the rose
still smells
so sweet.

She said WHAT??! #3

Participants:


-------------

ladyfriend123, britamcsheffery



Messages:

---------

ladyfriend123: Mmmmm.

britamcsheffery: morning lady friend

ladyfriend123: Are you off monday?

britamcsheffery: nope

ladyfriend123: Damn

ladyfriend123: So I need some advice

britamcsheffery: i wish i kind of want to take it off... been trying to play sick all week.

ladyfriend123: Greenmill sunday, fyi. I'm reading

ladyfriend123: So......anyhoo

britamcsheffery: earlier this week, i thought i was getting pink eye... and now i think i need to start executing a plan.

ladyfriend123: For what?

britamcsheffery: to take a damn day off

ladyfriend123: Ah.

britamcsheffery: i dont just call off... if i want a day off i play sick all week at work and then bam call off... because then everyones like... oh man shes been sick all week.. she needed the day off.

ladyfriend123: Wow. Spicy move

britamcsheffery: yeah its pretty clever.

britamcsheffery: then no one can be like... i bet brit just wanted a day off... nope remember ive been sick all week.

britamcsheffery: funny thing is.. my eye has been dry and red all week, so its the perfect excuse for pink eye, which in all cases means you HAVE to call off due to it contagious demeanor.

She said WHAT??!! #2

Participants:


-------------

ladyfriend123, britamcsheffery



Messages:

---------

ladyfriend123: Top of the mornin' to ya

britamcsheffery: morning lady friend

ladyfriend123: It nice out. Would be better with the Sun

britamcsheffery: yeah i know. i want to ride my bike, but i fear its even too cold for that.

ladyfriend123: So I think my new blog is getting mixed signals. :(

britamcsheffery: why

ladyfriend123: Yeah. There's steam coming off my coffee outside so prob not a good idea to bike ride

ladyfriend123: Not sure why. Maybe I'm over analyzing

ladyfriend123: I think a lot when I have days off

britamcsheffery: why are you off again

britamcsheffery: i am going to get some coffee hangon.

britamcsheffery: omg

ladyfriend123: Boss took a personal day

britamcsheffery: i gotta tell you about barry

ladyfriend123: Oh god.........

ladyfriend123: He's got the "baby" thing

britamcsheffery: so lemme recap.

britamcsheffery: no.

britamcsheffery: on valentines day, he took me to dinner and i was complaining abotu not getting flowers.. after dinner the flowers were in the car.

ladyfriend123: Mmmmm. K

britamcsheffery: i left them in the car when we went into his house after dinner, and hes like you should probably put them in water.. and i was like nah its okay its cold outside.

britamcsheffery: then i fell asleep and hes lke you realyl need to get your flowers. and i go no its fine ill get them in the morning.

britamcsheffery: well the next day we got into a fight about the damn flowers.. and i was like shove them up your ass i dont want them.

britamcsheffery: yesterday... he picks me up from shopping, and i bring the flowers inside my house... inside there was a card and diamond earrings.

ladyfriend123: So you jumped the gun? Or you didn't really care for the flowers and you expressed your disinterest in the wrong way?

britamcsheffery: no i just figured they were flowers and left them in the car. i didnt know there was a card and earrings hidden inside.

ladyfriend123: So what are your thoughts now?

britamcsheffery: i felt like such an ass hole kim\

ladyfriend123: Its ok. Its just a part of growing. You in a relationship. Let it pass. Learn from it.

britamcsheffery: my thoughts now are... wow here i am being a jerk, thinking this guy only cares about work.

britamcsheffery: and honestly i think he does really care about me (not just because he bought he diamond earrings) but because he does spend his free time with me not his friends.

britamcsheffery: i think personally we are patched up... just need to work on bedroom

ladyfriend123: Well, my thoughts...:

britamcsheffery: sure

ladyfriend123: The "bedroom" manner is at its best when the "non-bedroom" is at its worst. Does that make sense?

britamcsheffery: a little but we never really had any real outside the bedroom problems

ladyfriend123: You learn to make an effort when you have problems. When you try to focus on problems in the relationship you take that effort into the bedroom also. You want to make sure your partner is happy in and out of the bedroom

ladyfriend123: Not saying problems are good. But I don't think they are problems. I think they are obstacles.

ladyfriend123: A learning process

britamcsheffery: good point

ladyfriend123: Try breathing in the bad and ex haling the good

ladyfriend123: I'm excited for saturday meditation. You?

britamcsheffery: yes

ladyfriend123: Good

britamcsheffery: you mean breathing in the good, exhaling the bad

ladyfriend123: No. Opposite. Think about it

ladyfriend123: You breathe in peoples bad, pain and ex hale good onto them

britamcsheffery: it doesnt make sense.

britamcsheffery: thats the selfless way of looking at it... where as i guess i am looking at it selfishly

ladyfriend123: Anyone is strong enough to take on someone elses pain and release theirr good energy back. Its not your pain so you shouldn't have to hold onto it

ladyfriend123: But in turn give it back as good energy

britamcsheffery: im way confused...

ladyfriend123: Ok. Example. Your "pain" with Barry is not mine but when you tell me what you're feeling and the "pain" you have, I take it in. In turn I give you back "good". You release your "pain" onto me and I in turn make it into something "good".

britamcsheffery: recycling

ladyfriend123: Exactly

britamcsheffery: oh i see.

ladyfriend123: Its a new phase for me. Training the mind. I feel good taking this on...refocusing the mind, ya know

britamcsheffery: right now yahoo said you were hammering out a wicked comeback

ladyfriend123: Hahahahahahahahaha!!

ladyfriend123: There it is...

britamcsheffery: i am pretty good at refocusing. i just tend to go off the rails some times. which is when i lock my self away.

ladyfriend123: Yeah, but what can you learn from doing that? To lock yourself away more?

ladyfriend123: That's not fun

britamcsheffery: no i just like to center myself.

britamcsheffery: i find that if i have unfinished business mentally, going out puts it on the back burner and gets stored in the vault... which causes for bigger break downs.

ladyfriend123: And more stress. You need to release that.

britamcsheffery: yeah well i want to kick box or something.

britamcsheffery: fight.

britamcsheffery: do you know they have women mma

ladyfriend123: Oh god....that makes me nervous you know that. There can only be one Kimbo Slice here girly

britamcsheffery: yeah i know.

britamcsheffery: i kind of want to do mma.

britamcsheffery: but id have a lot of training to do.

britamcsheffery: so it just makes me want to fight.

ladyfriend123: Yeah. Find another way to clear your mind

britamcsheffery: hm.

britamcsheffery: sorry was busy for a min.

britamcsheffery: how are you getting to meditation

ladyfriend123: Blueline

She said WHAT??!! #1

Participants:
-------------
ladyfriend123, britamcsheffery

Messages:
---------
ladyfriend123: He has devil eyes. So tempting. He just stares at me, silent
britamcsheffery: and you spill your heart
ladyfriend123: What
britamcsheffery: well if he just stares silent, whose doing the talking
ladyfriend123: Me
britamcsheffery: right and you are talking passionately or vaguely
ladyfriend123: Both
britamcsheffery: hm.
britamcsheffery: what are his reactions like.
britamcsheffery: it sounds like you are talking to a third party, which in reality could be good for you.
ladyfriend123: Smiles. Blushes. Grins.
ladyfriend123: Stares
britamcsheffery: he has no bias judgments to make because he doesn't know you.
britamcsheffery: there is no connection so theres no way to be attached.
britamcsheffery: you may have your self a strictly platonic.
ladyfriend123: Ah, the magic word.
ladyfriend123: But those hands. That chin. Mouth. What about all those things? Don't they count?
britamcsheffery: body parts don't talk.
ladyfriend123: Eh, fuck it. They dont
britamcsheffery: nope.
ladyfriend123: Schwing
ladyfriend123: !
britamcsheffery: they speak evil... like hey look at me... im sexy but have no substance.
ladyfriend123: Evil? Sexy without substance is not evil, its....normal
britamcsheffery: its evil.
ladyfriend123: We talk about books. Aspirations. Goals. Meaning
britamcsheffery: in the end it gets you attached, and you're like holy shit what was I doing.
ladyfriend123: Ah, right. Its the eyes. It will only ever be the eyes....
britamcsheffery: i mean barry is starting to lose his substance.
ladyfriend123: Daydreaming, sorry
ladyfriend123: Ah...do tell
britamcsheffery: I just sent him a long email being like... too much repetition need more passion
britamcsheffery: and he was like sorry if we are boring
ladyfriend123: He's being defensive. Its like small dick syndrome.
britamcsheffery: and we aren't boring, and im not a huge talker, unless its about things that interest me.
ladyfriend123: Does he interest you?
britamcsheffery: i know.
britamcsheffery: yes. but i have a low attention span
ladyfriend123: <3 ladyfriend123: Sorry britamcsheffery: ah its okay. im sure we will work through it. ladyfriend123: Do u want to work through it? britamcsheffery: yeah i am really attracted to him. i mean i think hes sexy. i think hes smart. we have a good time. i just need more passion. ladyfriend123: Such as? britamcsheffery: in the bed. britamcsheffery: lacking in the bed. britamcsheffery: hes on top. im on top. britamcsheffery: i havent had an orgasm in a month ish
britamcsheffery: maybe less than a month.
britamcsheffery: but in all fairness ive been having a hard time masturbating too.
ladyfriend123: Why? Stress?
britamcsheffery: hes been rubbing me the wrong the way or something
britamcsheffery: he used to give me the BEST orgasms.
britamcsheffery: I mean fucking awesome cant catch my breath holy shit orgasms.
ladyfriend123: Maybe its time for this to pass. I mean you've only known him for a few months and you're talking like a 50yr old married couple. Maybe your time has "passed". Don't force something bc you're too selfish to let them go
britamcsheffery: now... nothing.
britamcsheffery: i actually make him stop.
britamcsheffery: i say to him.. im not going to come just stop.
ladyfriend123: I haven't orgasmed since the summer of 69' sista...so, ah, yeah.
britamcsheffery: WHAT
britamcsheffery: even by yourself?
ladyfriend123: Yup
britamcsheffery: why
ladyfriend123: Meaningless.
britamcsheffery: why!!!!!!!
britamcsheffery: are you nuts?
ladyfriend123: Its hard to explain
britamcsheffery: i really enjoy masturbating. im going to get a new vibrator today because the one i have is bad
ladyfriend123: Oh my..!
ladyfriend123: Its hard to talk about sex when you don't want it anymore
britamcsheffery: yeah its like this metal silver thing and the vibration hurts my hand.
ladyfriend123: Um. Please stop.
britamcsheffery: my old one was stolen by that girl
britamcsheffery: and i broke the one i bought after that.
britamcsheffery: i need to get my groove back!
ladyfriend123: Ummm yeah. Awkward
britamcsheffery: why?
ladyfriend123: So can we get back to devil eyes? ;)
britamcsheffery: why does it always have to be about you!
britamcsheffery: i am trying to talk about a legit problem i am having too.
ladyfriend123: Got cha!
ladyfriend123: Chill vibrator queen of the "nile"
ladyfriend123: I was joking
britamcsheffery: im on the hunt!
britamcsheffery: i get aggressive when i am sexually unsatisfied.
ladyfriend123: I want to help you. Not physically but mentally.
ladyfriend123: Yeah ya do.
britamcsheffery: or when i feel like i am not satisfying him.
ladyfriend123: I think I should be a nun
ladyfriend123: I use to be so good at oral sex. Man, I miss that.
ladyfriend123: No intention of "downing" your man, just saying
britamcsheffery: i never really go down on barry. i feel like he just wants to jump right into sex.
ladyfriend123: Um. Yeah. Not good yo...I use to be like that
ladyfriend123: Its the "your part fits with my part" but we know this. What about all the "other" tuff?
ladyfriend123: Stuff
britamcsheffery: he went down on me the other morning, and i was thinking... gee since he hasnt done this in a while i dont think im goignt o come. and i didnt.
britamcsheffery: you cant throw an element of surprise in there like that.
britamcsheffery: especially in the morning.. i mean i was farting in my sleep all night. and now you want to spring down there.
britamcsheffery: he doesnt go front to back. but there is an occasional finger which is okay. all in all there is room for improvement.

2

His hands touch me

Like ice, like fire, one and the same…

They linger on ripe valleys,

Virgin Plains…

His eyes touch me

In a way that steals pieces of me,

Bits and pieces of me,

They are lost still.

His mouth touches me

There, in the valley…

There amongst the hills,

Drifting lower…

Murmuring against the Virgin Plains…

How beautiful! How enchanting…

Such a beautiful little girl,

So sweet.

And those pieces, they are lost--

Will they ever be found again?

Will they come to me if I call?

Will they flow back into my being

And make me whole?

And who will understand the mix

Of pleasure and pain, love and hate,

Reverence and disgust?

Who will protect me now?

The answer is always the same…

No one…there is no one for you,

None who could understand…

None who could bring back those pieces that are lost.

Fragments of love and hate still remain.

Valentine What?-Feb14th

"There's a fire starting in my heart,

Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark,


Finally, I can see you crystal clear,


Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your shit bare,


See, I'll leave with every piece of you,


Don't underestimate the things that I will do,


The scars of your love remind me of us,


They keep me thinking that we almost had it all,


The scars of your love, they leave me breathless,


I can't help feeling,



We could have had it all,


(You're gonna wish you never had met me),


Rolling in the deep,


(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),


You had my heart inside of your hands,


And you played it to the beat,


Baby, I have no story to be told,


But I've heard one on you and I'm gonna make your head burn,


Think of me in the depths of your despair,


Make a home down there as mine sure won't be shared,

Throw your soul through every open door,


Count your blessings to find what you look for,


Turn my sorrow into treasured gold,


You'll pay me back in kind and reap just what you've sown,


You played it,


You played it,


You played it to the beat."

"I sing these words, time and time again

to express my life, of being your lover, and your friend

and as the clouds, cry cry cry cry, high above, shed their tears

i'll embrace you, with love, from all your fear

am i the one, am i the one that you love

am i the one that you think of

a passion in your carres, floats from your fingertips

and i pray for the day, that i hear those prescious words pass through your lips

wishin upon the start, from up above..uhh

dont you make me feel crazy, if i break down and cry

just tell me that you love me baby

even if it is a lie"

"Childhood living

You know, it’s easy to do

The things that you wanted

I bought them for you

And graceless lady

You know, who I am

You know, I can’t let you

Slide through my hands

I watched you suffer

A dull aching pain

Now you decided

To show me the same

There’ll be no sweeping exits

No offstage lines

It couldn’t make me feel bitter

Or treat you unkind

I know, I dreamed you

You a sin, and a lie

Wild Horses

We’ll ride them some day"

Happy Valentines Day Lover.....

Who do you think You are? (Top 5-Names have been changed due to Stupidity)

I'm walking into the Wolves Den.....

"It would be nice to think that since I was 14, times have changed. Relationships have become more sophisticated. Females less cruel. Skins thicker. Instincts more developed. But there seems to be an element of that afternoon in everything that's happened to me since. All my romantic stories are a scrambled version of that first one. "



1) His name was "Bob'. I lured after him from miles away. Three years; three fuckin years it took me. I was so nervous. I was young, Sex was good then. Smiles were easier to come by. fun was all we cared about. dreams were reality.We have one of those conversations where everything clicks, meshes, corresponds, locks, where even our pauses, even our punctuation marks, seem to be nodding in agreement. Addictions, unfaithful mentality. he didn't mind my long hair was fake. even when it got lost in his bed. i was supple then. amazing tits. amazing ass; you get the picture. we were young. Our endless evenings went with that post of breathtaking joke precision, where you kind of see what's supposed to happen but you can't believe it's even going to get there, even though afterwards it seems obvious. i thought he was the one. he was the hardest break-up. well, we actually were never "together", but my heart was always there even if his wasn't. i made the worst mistake ever. EVER. no need to explain. just imagine the worst possible scenario in your life and times it by 10. Can i blame it on my youth? im so sorry you ever had to doubt me. i missed him for years. there wasn't a day that went by that i never thought of him. then i forgot you. i left a piece of me in that letter i left you. it seems this one comes back in and out every few years. then, again, out.  Remember last time, ah, just laying there i thought. "I could've wound up having sex back there. And what better way to exorcise rejection demons than to screw the person who rejected you, right? But you wouldn't be sleeping with a person, you'd be sleeping with the whole sad, single-person culture. It'd be like sleeping with Talia Shire in Rocky if you weren't Rocky." and now again? why? is this time? eh, im not going there. i can't take the chance of him leaving again. it breaks my heart every time, till there will be no heart left to break.
                           -I learned to deal with Pain. I learned that it is O.K. to let go. I learned that no matter what, Real men exist. You taught me that no matter what, Life is worth Living."


2)"I can see now I never really committed. I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and... I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments."
 "James". What a character you are. You came into my Life too late. But you, you have made it to number two on my worst break-ups. Wow, you are one fuckin man aren't you?. What a character you have turned out to be. You made me believe in Risk again. You made me find me. Too bad, it took 30 years. You broke my heart since day one, but i liked it. You showed me that there are people out there worse off than i am. ive always wanted to tell you: look in the mirror and repeat this to yourself "Ï have a girlfriend that i cheat on. i am not only hurting her i am hurting myself". Rinse and Repeat at least 5 times a day. Then cry and wake up. This is reality son. Grown up ol'man. If not for her, do it for me.  You are the cocaine. A constant Buzz. I can not even remember who i was before i met you. Is that a good or a bad thing? We could have been so Happy?  Well, at least one of us. You are the most genuine person i have ever met. uncomfortably comfortable around you. You taught me to be Honest again. I will forever be in love with you because i am a woman with insecurities. i have my lows too.Then I lost it. Kinda lost it all, you know. Faith, dignity, about fifteen pounds.

Next life time though, when we meet, don't wait so long to start your Life over again....................
                -I learned that Men can be True.  I learned that no matter what it can and never will take only one woman to change the mind of a Man. i learned that if i can fall in love with a Man like you, i can give myself again. Learn to lower my walls. i can obtain the future i have always wanted. i learned to not be scared to "feel" again. i learned to write again, without capitalizing my "i's"....



3) "Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I’ve been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I’ve come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains." You had the best Heart over anyone. Your name deserves to be spoken. Jeff. I left you. Ah, poor, poor Jeff. You had the best of both worlds. Someone taking care of you as you played your music because it was what you loved to do. sentimental music has this great way of taking you back somewhere at the same time that it takes you forward, so you feel nostalgic & hopeful all at the same time. you ran my bank account dry, when it was so dry to begin with.  Your partake on life was invigorating. You lived through the moment and my moment. It made sense to pool our collective loathing for the opposite sex, and while we were doing that, share a bed with someone at the same time. Only people of a certain disposition are sure they're going to be alone for the rest of their lives at age 26, and we were of that disposition. You were my Rebound. Yet, the best rebound thus far. You had this smile that disgusted you and hid your insecurities on your self image, self body, self worth. i loved you for it. You were possibly the most "normal"man ever. Even though those outside the box looked at us as complete opposites, we knew better. oh the fights, make up sex at its best!...you made me angry and i so fuckin hope i did the same. it brought out the best in us and took us both out of this make believe world we lived in. Late night fried food and old black and 'white movies. Early morning trips to Target to buy things we knew we didn't need. Constant trips to local pet stores to stare and wonder what our home would feel like with a three-legged cat. God, i miss those days. But things are better now. Happy you are without me, because i left. Ah, bad circumstances i know, but you deserved it. you deserved to be You, away from me.
        -I didnt really learn much from you except that its normal to live in a routine, especially if you are in love ....'
 
 
4) "Sometimes I got so bored of trying to touch her breast that I would try to touch her between her legs. It was like trying to borrow a dollar, getting turned down, and asking for 50 grand instead." You took the prude and turned her into a woman. Lets call you "Bill". Happily married now with another kid on the way. You were the prettiest. Well, below the belt at least. Little Irish never hurt, not at all. Well, the wood bar stool up against my back. Ha! i would only ever say things like that if it wasn't for you. You showed me what sexuality was. You showed me what men's desire looks like. You brought me into a world that I never knew existed: the male mind.  Our timing was so brief, but it felt like an eternity. Three months right? You should be higher up on this list of hardest break-ups but , breaking up with you wasn't hard. i never loved you, i suppose, i was too young. Jesus. I'm glad I know nothing about psychotherapy, about Jung and Freud and that lot. If I did, I'd probably be extremely frightened by now: the man who wants to have sex in the place where she used to go for walks with his dead dad is probably very dangerous indeed.



5) Chuck. Charles. Chaz. Fucking Chuck.

Top five things I miss about Laura:



One – Sense of humor. Very dry, but it can also be warm and forgiving. And she’s got one of the best all-time laughs in the history of all-time laughs. She laughs with her entire body.


Two – She’s got character…or at least she had character before the Ian nightmare. She’s loyal and honest and she doesn’t even take it out on people when she’s having a bad day. That’s character.


Three – I miss…her smell…and the way she tastes. Its a mystery of human chemistry and I don’t understand it. Some people, as far as your senses are concerned, just…feel…like home.


I really dig how she walks around. Its like she doesn’t care how she looks or what she projects. And its not that she doesn’t care, its just…she’s not affected I guess. And that gives her grace.


and Five – She does this thing in bed when she can’t get to sleep. She kind of half-moans and then rubs her feet together an equal number of times. It just kills me

You are number five. its so easy when i was making this list to put you there. you were the easiest break-up in history because i loved you the most and never really loved you at all.
nine years of love or nine years of suffering. Ah, you are  the reason for the list. The Valentines coming up reminded me of this. The night you took my virginity in a water-bed. Ha! i just almost died laughing. To look back on it all now and wonder, "What the Fuck were we thinking?" maybe it was the rain, or the minute details i remember about that night. or the fact it was fuckin Valentine's day. Eh, years past. Memories erased. I'm very glad that you have just welcomed a new baby into your life with the woman who i watched you soil my couch with. Ah, lets be honest here. That's the whole point of this correct? i cheated. i cheated a lot on you. From day one. i cheated on you when i caught you on my couch with your new wife. i cheated because i could. i cheated not because you were mean to me but because that was who i was. i couldn't commit. i was forced to commit. Fuck, it feels so good to get that out and to stop lying to myself after all these years. Searching for pity as the divorcee who's husband cheated on her. our only difference was you were the one who got caught. i never really wanted to get caught, i just wanted to find a way to leave you and emotionally detaching myself by sleeping with another man did it for me. our relationship since day one was doomed.  The constant break ups since we were kids; getting back together because we thought it was "meant"to be, instead of realizing we were both just insecure and "using"each other as a security-blanket. What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns or watching violent videos afraid that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands, of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery, and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?



Sorry if you didn't make it on the Top 5:
Those places are reserved for the kind of humiliation and heartbreak you're just not capable of delivering.

Thank you Brit

The romance of two, dwindled souls seethes when push comes to shove.


Our iron grips of emotion held so tight our knuckles turn pale.

We find ourselves alone, eye to eye and forgetting how this started.



Euphoria soaked us to our bones, but insanity broke them.

Instant attraction was not instant love. We learned.

Instant emotions were not instantly cared for. We tried.



We escaped for awhile and its no reason to be ashamed.

We were engulfed in each other, twisted in each others nets.

Catch of the day, turned into weeks, turned into a month.

At a stand still, we learn only to mask every emotion on our sleeve.



When push comes to shove, we realize we have nothing to hide.

In plain sight we face the same troubles, insecurities and doubts we bestowed on each other.

The romance of two, was really a romance of one.

Each of our selfish souls wanting something or another.