I've wanted you
ever since you took me between your feral hands.
I was five years old when you pressed my Face to the dirt.
You showed me a microscope world
only sensed by the tips of antennae.
A history that, every day,
I crushed unknowingly beneath my feet.
I've been tracking you ever since.
When I was too young to know better,
I would lay traps at the bottoms of glass bottles,
bait you with chalky white pills,
apply thick layers of war paint,
and draw my own blood,
hoping you were at least attracted to the scent.
I followed your lamp light between the trees,
even though everyone warned me
you were too dangerous to follow.
I've hunted you
until you folded pliantly beneath my hands,
fell panting at my feet,
cut my open wounds wider than anyone Else's
so they'd be that much more deserving
of your rough tongue.
Yet, I am still lost amongst the
wreckage of sleepless nights.
My finger cramps are a full page
and no story.
You taught me that I am no seductress.
Not even mangled hands and knees ragged from worship
can entice you out of your Den.
I've seen you sleep in a stranger's bed like a royal pet.
You don't tremble when she holds you in her Arms.
Muse,
I never asked you to Love me,
just to lend me your body for awhile.
If i could finally catch you.
pluck one hair from your coat,
carry a single claw around my Neck,
steal one more salty drop to brighten my lips,
it would only be for a heady, drunken instant]
before you wilted against the infertile floor of my palm.
So lets make a bargain.
I'm not the begging type,
just don't leave.
Let your paw prints track clearly in the dust.
Don't let me catch you too easily.
A simple brush is enough to satiate;
up close, even the finest pelt loses its luster.
I will lie patiently, forever, at a safe distance
if you allow me an occasional look into those feral eyes.
Promise you'll come to me
on the front line of my dreams,
whisper secrets in my ear
before you laughingly shake me awake.
In exchange,
I'll wipe the jealousy from my cheeks,
learn to love you in stranger's Arms.
I'll give you the Vessel
to drag by the scruff between your teeth,
to run wild to the bone,
to keep you warm at night.
