The Heat Makes Everything Burn.
The Soul Burns to Capture a Moment Never Capable of Becoming.
My Hands Burn because of there over development during the Wee Late Hours Alone in My Room.
My Thumb pierced from Glass Leaving Me once again in Pain.
The unresponsive Chatter that comes out of your Mouth every time we Speak.
The Truth that Will always Lie.
Oh My Dear, please. Do not worry for me. I Need Not worry for You.

Your Discomposed words make me Laugh.
Your inability to understand Who and What we are; When We are, How we Are.
Your stupidity for Capturing a Moment on Film makes me Laugh.
Your desire to Pronounce Life in a Photo , a photo that shall Never Be Alive.

Your Ability to Tell me what I Want to Hear, and not what I need to Hear.
Your Lacking of Manliness, overruled by your Desire to be Desirable.
Your overuse of Words only you Understand.
Your unconscious Actions due to your Demeaning Childhood.
Your Faith and Desire I no Longer Feel For.
Your inadequate Ways of Living, Speaking, Believing, Fucking how you Like and not How I Like.

I have spent too much Time Lying.
I have spent too much time Trying
I have spent too much time Misbehaving.
I have spent too much time trying to Understand a mystery that has no understanding.

I was Captured in a Moment; only brief.

I sit in Silence and Silence is what I choose.
The Calming of No Words, No Sound, No Voice, No Heart Beat.
This Calms Me.

The door is Closed Tonight....

"I Have Been Quiet...This is the Only way I Like it"

Truth Lies In the Eyes of the Beholder

There is Always Truth in a Lie.

I extend the Truth because I want them to be Lies.

Truth Is?- I am Fuckin done with all this.

Fuck. I'm Really Not... And the Story continues.......



The Next Night
The Black Dress was a Success. Not the Success i was Hoping for, but it Did me Justice. The Heels though? Damn, those Heels. They Make or Break it and they definitely Made it.

So, the Shy, Relentless One called: Date number Two. Was he looking to please himself more in my presence or was he looking to astound me with his mannerisms and chivalry?
No Dinner this Time. Straight to it. I informed him before he came over, so He not judge me, that i was looking to Fill a Void. A Void that I take and still take quite seriously. He called....He was intrigued. "Let me tell you something , my friend. We are all animals, correct? The body aches. The body needs to Digest Whole what it really needs. We are only Human Animals trying to find some acceptance in this world by fulfilling our utmost desires.Its only Human Nature, correct?"He agreed and understood what i was Looking for and When i wanted it. He maneuvered His schedule and came over the next night.

I lay with my head in his lap enjoying the clean smell of manliness that wafted from his sweat pants. I wanted to taste him, needed to feel him swell between my lips, needed to hear him moan in satisfaction as he raised his hips to meet my mouth. I licked my lips as I thought of how it felt when he exploded in waves in my mouth as I struggled to swallow all that he could produce. I adored him for that Single Moment and yearned for him. I couldn't take it anymore I throbbed with want for him. I needed him inside of me. I slid my body up his, my lips touching his in a kiss filled with lust. I moaned in anticipation of the pleasure I was to receive. He raked his fingernails up my ass cheeks and I inhaled deeply.My mind exploded at the pleasure of him filling me completely. He wrapped his arms around me and pounded sending me over the edge. I moaned his name as he whispered in my ear telling me to cum for him. I slumped against his chest heaving sighs of satisfaction.


The Night Was over and Done...As Was I.
There wouldnt be a Second Time. I'Promised Him this before He Left. He seemed Upset...

I Left The Door Open Again That Night.... You Should Have Been There....

For Her...My Dear

I'm not a stranger
No, I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore

A fragile frame aged
With misery
And when our eyes meet
I know you see

I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am "cut"

I may seem crazy
Or painfully shy
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden
If you would just look me in the eye
I feel alone here and cold here
Though I don't want to die
But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside

{Your Pain}

I am not alone

My tears still drip

I Want......

I promise I wont take up too much room.

Can I touch your face?

You are the reason I do not sleep.

Sleep is coming. Yet not soon enough.

You are the Mystery in my Life that I have been searching for.

You are the Void in My Space.

What are you made of?

Stop waiting. Stop Watching.

What are you afraid of?

What am I afraid of?

You.

I am more than Art.

I am more then a Touch.

I am more than a Lady.

I want your Skin to be my hiding place. Fuck, I won't take up too much room.

I want so much More.

I want all the things we are afraid of.

I want Lust

I want Passion.

I want Heat.

I want Respect.

I want Compassion

I want Sorrow.

I want Laughter.

I want the Skies above that are Blue.

I want to be Wrapped up in Clover.

I want Dreams to Come True.

I want everlasting Life.

I want to be Found.

I want a Thrill.

I want to be Bent.

I want the Spell to be Cast.

I want to be in Heaven.

I want to stop Daydreaming.

I want to have a Nice Day.

I Don't want to Keep Living in a Hospital.

I want to write a Memory with You.

I want you to Find me.

I want to Stop Making-Believe.

I want to Never Stop.

I want to be True.

I want the Truth.

I want to Fade Away in You.

I want to Make Sure You are Alright.

I want to Read with You.

I want to give you Mine.

I want to Give You Me.

I want to hear you Scream.

I want to Smile at 2am.

I want to Sleep one night through without Pain.

I want to Drink You.

I want to Taste You.

I want to Tear You Apart.

I want to Follow Through.

I want to Smile More.

I want To Stop Looking.

I want My Life Back.

I don't want to Die.

I want My Health Back.

I want to Wake Up Tomorrow.

I want to Stop being Misplaced.

I want to Stop Getting Lost in Misery.

I want you to Touch Me.

I want to stop wondering what Your Hands would feel Like.

I want to stop thinking about the Scratches I would Leave on your Back.

I want to Live Today Likes its My Last.

I don't want to end up like my Parents.

I want to Stop Writing in the Bathtub.

I want to go to the Beach and not be stared at.

I want to Roam Naked.

I want to Throw my Phone threw Your Wall.

I want YOU to Follow through.

I want to Stop pretending I care.

I want to See you.

I want to write a Story about You.

I want people to see Me for What I am and not for What They Want Me To Be.

I want to Meet You.

I want to mend Your Wounded Heart.

I want a brand New Love.

I want To be Carried Away.

I want to Pretend.

I want To Play In The Rain.

I want To Stain My Lips With Your Poison.

I want To Be inside You.

I want To Take Your Breath Away.

I want a Brand New Lie.

I want someone to Mend Me.

I want To Stop Wanting

I Want Your Needs

I Want To Need.......................

(My heart cries for you)
(Sighs for you, dies for you)
(And my arms long for you)
Even if it Leads Nowhere

Last night I had the strangest dream
I'd ever dreamed before
I dreamed the world had all agreed
To put an end to our war

I dreamed I saw a mighty room
Filled with women and men
And the paper they were signing said
They'd never fight again

And when the paper was all signed
And a million copies made
They all joined hands and bowed their heads
And grateful pray'rs were prayed

And the people in the streets below
Were dancing 'round and 'round
While swords and guns and uniforms
Were scattered on the ground

I am going to start Giving Up instead of Giving in
I can not do this anymore.....
I am Sorry.
I was expecting an outcome that does not exist.
How could i have done this to you?
How could I have done this to Myself?

Time to Wake Up
The World Is Changing..
I am Changing...

When the Heart Breaks; it Bleeds...

The Built Up Anger....Released.

Her Perspective

"He told me he Loved Me. He told me that when He was going out It was just to hang out with his friends and do "Man" things. He Told Me that He would show me this City because i am from a Foreign Country Far Far Away and I am unaware of all the possibilities America can offer. I come Home everyday from work at the same time, same moment and all we do is fight. If its not fighting , its ignorance. He makes me Dinner. Cuban Sometimes and I still feel like he is "interested" in other things and his mind is elsewhere. I wonder who she is. I wonder why she makes Him Happy and i can't. Is it her beauty? Is it Her Mind? I wonder if she looks like me. I wonder if she knows about me. I wonder if she would even care. I wonder if He tells Her what He tells Me. I wonder what the color of her eyes are? I wonder what she smells like after she sweats? I wonder if she can place her legs over his head like I can. I wonder if she Hates him as much as I do. I wonder if she cries when she cums. I wonder if she touches herself in the shower? I wonder if He has spent the night with her more than once. I wonder when he is going to Leave me for her. I wonder if He sees that I see through His Bullshit. I wonder if She thinks of me."

My Perspective.

"He Told Me He Loved me this Weekend. I said Ditto. I had a moment. I thought that was what he wanted to Hear. What was I thinking? I wasn't Again, not thinking. Speaking before I speak. He tells me he is unhappy with you. He says all you do is fight. Him and I have never fought. I must tell you; I am falling. Falling hard. I am looking for a distraction as I sit and write this and the wind reminds me that he is a Red Flag. I am sitting all alone inside in my Head. Do you know how much time has past? We spend every other night together but once he leaves I am writing to my other "distraction". I have ever right to have a distraction, right? Don't you agree? Its not you. It's me. I wonder why He tells me how he fells about me and to never doubt him but all i can think about is you. The other Woman. I envy you. I am sorry it had to happen like this. I am sorry I make him happy and you don't. Its just another Day, right? I have a voice and a right to make a choice out of all of this. I Doubt him as much as you do, do not question that. I Doubt his Truth. I am though, uncomfortably Comfortable around him. His words not mine. Something you are not. He was meant to be with me, not you. You see it. He sees it. I get Lost in his Misery. Is that wrong? Is it wrong to feel this way? I am not waiting for Him. I have waited almost 30 years to meet him and i am not going to wait another 30. Heaven Help us if I fade away. I am bringing excitement back into your relationship? You can Thank me one Day. I already asked him for an invite to your Wedding. I always wanted to give you something for taking away your time with him. I must tell you though, I think I might Love Him. I would definitely Love him more, if you were not there. But Life is what it Is, Complicated. Correct? My Heart is Breaking"

All My Love, The Other Woman.