When will I see you again?
You left with no goodbye,
Not a single word was said,
No final kiss to seal any sins
I had no idea of the state we were in.
I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and heaviness in my head.
When was the last time you thought of me?
Or have you completely erased me from your memory?
Gave you the space so you could breathe,
I kept my distance so you would be free,
And hoped that you'd find the missing piece.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
Hard Enough
You let me into your life on a whim
And there was magic and fire in the night
In loving I was just a little girl
I made mistakes that caused you so much pain
All I know is that I'm older now
Some people think that it's best to refrain from the conventions of old-fashioned lust
Their hearts are filled with holes and emptiness
They tell themselves that they're too young to settle down
And this has been hard enough on you
I know it's been hard enough on me
Been telling myself that I can roll with the changes
And when the water gets high above your head
Darling don't you see,
While this has been hard enough on you
It's been hard enough on me
I wasn't looking when we built these walls
Let me spread my dreams at your feet
Let’s not let time’s bitter flood rise
Before my thoughts begin to run
Can't stand the thought of another, talking to you
Where would I be tonight if you hadn't held me here, in your arms?
And there was magic and fire in the night
In loving I was just a little girl
I made mistakes that caused you so much pain
All I know is that I'm older now
Some people think that it's best to refrain from the conventions of old-fashioned lust
Their hearts are filled with holes and emptiness
They tell themselves that they're too young to settle down
And this has been hard enough on you
I know it's been hard enough on me
Been telling myself that I can roll with the changes
And when the water gets high above your head
Darling don't you see,
While this has been hard enough on you
It's been hard enough on me
I wasn't looking when we built these walls
Let me spread my dreams at your feet
Let’s not let time’s bitter flood rise
Before my thoughts begin to run
Can't stand the thought of another, talking to you
Where would I be tonight if you hadn't held me here, in your arms?
B. Flowers
Look back in silence; the cradle of your whole life.
There in the distance, losing its greatest prize.
Nothing is easy, nothing is sacred.
Why?
Where did the bough break?
It happened before your time.
There were people there, lovely as you've ever cared.
Tonight.
you can start again.
Laughing in the open air; have yourself another dream.
Only the young can break away...
Lost when the wind blows; on your own
Mother its cold here. Father thy will be done.
Thunder and lightening are crashing down.
They got me on the run, direct me to the sun.
Redemption keeps my covers clean tonight.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Only Truth...
I wanted to start this as a letter out to a certain someone but I think that ghost can be found in its content.
I am not one to be personal on my thoughts but there comes a time here and there where the keys on my computer write for themselves and I express my thoughts in words.
My Karma has destroyed me.
Let there only be truth in my words and not doubt. i wont let you close enough to hurt me. I have struggled for over 7 years. Every man i have let my guard down to has hurt me. Its not my fault, i know this, and i know you can relate. Why do we choose to suffer chasing someone we know will end up upsetting or hurting us? I'm over this phase.,,,,
About a week ago today, i realized, actually it was Valentines day, go figure. i had chose to take a path to climb a mountain with a man who, mind you, I never thought I would, that changed my Life. i overcame my fear. I overcame my fear of heights. I cried. Not only cried, but let myself cry in front of another. I am so strong, so independent, so sane, but I had to let go. I have never in my life experienced that before. And looking on it now, I would have not asked to accomplish something like that without this person. He is the only person I could actually let go with. He is a true, decent friend. It is someone who always remember me, and has never let me down. It was like he was sent to me to help me overcome my fear. Not only a fear of heights, but a fear of letting go.
This is how the story went
I met someone by accident
Who blew me away
Blew me away
And It was in the darkest of my days
When you took my sorrow and you took my pain
And buried them away, buried them away
Coming down that mountain, I had a moment. The sun was setting and the colors were changing from green and blue to red and black. I thought of you, and there I knew, I no longer needed you. You were suppose to be in that moment with me, but you were absent. I broke down. I cried for the first time in over 7 years. Then, the source that got me to that point came and held me. Its men like that, sources like that that need recognition. It wasn't a moment between the source and I but a conclusion between you and I.
That was the last time I would think of you.
That was the first time I would not look for someone like you, but for someone like my Source.
Amazing and competent are the only two words I can think of to describe this person. Fucked up? Yes, aren't we all, but genuine, decent and sincere. In lames terms he is Real. Hard to find. I feel so sorry for the women who breaks his heart everyday. It saddens me that he cant see me like he sees her. Everyone deserves the happiness and fun we shared.
Wake me up.
I am awake and even though I cant do it on my own I am willing to take the risk.
I can not put into words the definition of passion that came from my recent trip.
People do not change.
They only learn to interpret
What I need
I need an opposite that will attract
I need someone who is loving in nature
I need someone who is strongly imaginative and determined and aims high in Life.
Someone who possesses a traditional value towards women, especially his woman.
Someone who quite charming but has a clever mind at the same time.
Someone who fulfills all the qualities I lack.
Someone who cools my surface and makes me feel secure and loved.
I am a practical woman with wise opinions and a generous heart that is always ready to help.
My determination is strong which is topped by my sensible manner.
I am ready to sacrifice my personal needs for you.
I am always a faithful partner whom any man can remain content in his Life.
I admire your qualities and i will Help you in exhibiting them whenever needed.
I am devoted enough to melt your insecurities.
I can provide answers to all your questions put across.
I know you have delicate feelings and emotions. I respect that.
Our intamacy will be an experience that will make everthing else look more beautiful.
Our experience will be both extremely deep and fullfilling as possibe as being opposite in nature, the attraction is certainly powerful and passionate.
I promise to show my compassionate side more often to you.....
To be continued....
Stop looking and open your eyes
I am not one to be personal on my thoughts but there comes a time here and there where the keys on my computer write for themselves and I express my thoughts in words.
My Karma has destroyed me.
Let there only be truth in my words and not doubt. i wont let you close enough to hurt me. I have struggled for over 7 years. Every man i have let my guard down to has hurt me. Its not my fault, i know this, and i know you can relate. Why do we choose to suffer chasing someone we know will end up upsetting or hurting us? I'm over this phase.,,,,
About a week ago today, i realized, actually it was Valentines day, go figure. i had chose to take a path to climb a mountain with a man who, mind you, I never thought I would, that changed my Life. i overcame my fear. I overcame my fear of heights. I cried. Not only cried, but let myself cry in front of another. I am so strong, so independent, so sane, but I had to let go. I have never in my life experienced that before. And looking on it now, I would have not asked to accomplish something like that without this person. He is the only person I could actually let go with. He is a true, decent friend. It is someone who always remember me, and has never let me down. It was like he was sent to me to help me overcome my fear. Not only a fear of heights, but a fear of letting go.
This is how the story went
I met someone by accident
Who blew me away
Blew me away
And It was in the darkest of my days
When you took my sorrow and you took my pain
And buried them away, buried them away
Coming down that mountain, I had a moment. The sun was setting and the colors were changing from green and blue to red and black. I thought of you, and there I knew, I no longer needed you. You were suppose to be in that moment with me, but you were absent. I broke down. I cried for the first time in over 7 years. Then, the source that got me to that point came and held me. Its men like that, sources like that that need recognition. It wasn't a moment between the source and I but a conclusion between you and I.
That was the last time I would think of you.
That was the first time I would not look for someone like you, but for someone like my Source.
Amazing and competent are the only two words I can think of to describe this person. Fucked up? Yes, aren't we all, but genuine, decent and sincere. In lames terms he is Real. Hard to find. I feel so sorry for the women who breaks his heart everyday. It saddens me that he cant see me like he sees her. Everyone deserves the happiness and fun we shared.
Wake me up.
I am awake and even though I cant do it on my own I am willing to take the risk.
I can not put into words the definition of passion that came from my recent trip.
People do not change.
They only learn to interpret
What I need
I need an opposite that will attract
I need someone who is loving in nature
I need someone who is strongly imaginative and determined and aims high in Life.
Someone who possesses a traditional value towards women, especially his woman.
Someone who quite charming but has a clever mind at the same time.
Someone who fulfills all the qualities I lack.
Someone who cools my surface and makes me feel secure and loved.
I am a practical woman with wise opinions and a generous heart that is always ready to help.
My determination is strong which is topped by my sensible manner.
I am ready to sacrifice my personal needs for you.
I am always a faithful partner whom any man can remain content in his Life.
I admire your qualities and i will Help you in exhibiting them whenever needed.
I am devoted enough to melt your insecurities.
I can provide answers to all your questions put across.
I know you have delicate feelings and emotions. I respect that.
Our intamacy will be an experience that will make everthing else look more beautiful.
Our experience will be both extremely deep and fullfilling as possibe as being opposite in nature, the attraction is certainly powerful and passionate.
I promise to show my compassionate side more often to you.....
To be continued....
Stop looking and open your eyes
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Bedroom Hymns.....
This is as good a place to fall as any
We'll build our alter here
Make me your Maria
I'm already on my knees
You had Jesus on your breath
And I caught him in mine
Sweating our confessions
The undone and the divine
Such selfish prayers
And I can't get enough
Spilled milk tears,
I did this for you
Spilling over the idol
The black and the blue
The sweetest submission
Drinking it in
The wine, the women, the bedroom hymns
I'm not here looking for absolution
Because I found myself an old solution
Saturday, January 28, 2012
December 31st, 2011
My eyes are so tired
They should sleep
But they won't
They don't
They won't let me pass this up
My eyes are stuck open in love?
They want more of him
They need less of this
They're everything
They're unbelievable
They're young
And they're old
They're looking for a way out
And a moment to let you in
They want nothing to do with me
They're hungry
I'm warning
And I'm scared
They won't let me thrive
They'll need everything you own
Make it all so real
By learning to feel
What's not really happening
What's going on is much more
Then I ever hoped for
And I'd much rather imagine it
Then not live at all
They should sleep
But they won't
They don't
They won't let me pass this up
My eyes are stuck open in love?
They want more of him
They need less of this
They're everything
They're unbelievable
They're young
And they're old
They're looking for a way out
And a moment to let you in
They want nothing to do with me
They're hungry
I'm warning
And I'm scared
They won't let me thrive
They'll need everything you own
Make it all so real
By learning to feel
What's not really happening
What's going on is much more
Then I ever hoped for
And I'd much rather imagine it
Then not live at all
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Unknown 2
You are the hole in my head
You are the space in my bed
You are the silence in between
What I thought and what I said
You are the nighttime fear
You are the morning when it's clear
When it's over, you're the start
You're my head and you're my heart
No light
In your bright brown eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day
You can't choose what stays and what fades away
And I'd do anything to make you stay
No light, no light
Tell me what you want me to say
To the crowd I was crying out and
In your place there were a thousand other faces
I was disappearing in plain sight
Heaven help me, I need to make it right
You want a revelation
You want to get "right"
But it's a conversation
I just can't have tonight
You want a revelation
Some kind of resolution
Would you leave me
If I told you what I'd done?
And would you leave me
If I told you what I'd become?
'Cause it's so easy
To say it to a crowd
But it's so hard, my love
To say it to you out loud
You are the space in my bed
You are the silence in between
What I thought and what I said
You are the nighttime fear
You are the morning when it's clear
When it's over, you're the start
You're my head and you're my heart
No light
In your bright brown eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day
You can't choose what stays and what fades away
And I'd do anything to make you stay
No light, no light
Tell me what you want me to say
To the crowd I was crying out and
In your place there were a thousand other faces
I was disappearing in plain sight
Heaven help me, I need to make it right
You want a revelation
You want to get "right"
But it's a conversation
I just can't have tonight
You want a revelation
Some kind of resolution
Would you leave me
If I told you what I'd done?
And would you leave me
If I told you what I'd become?
'Cause it's so easy
To say it to a crowd
But it's so hard, my love
To say it to you out loud
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