Short and Simple.....

Just going to stand there and watch me burn,
Thats alright because I like the way it Hurts...


Just going to stand there and hear me Cry,
Thats alright because I love the way you Lie....

Quoted-

Joyful Play..

Sometimes the best things in life come when we just sit back, look, stare, listen and Wait.....


I came to recollect and recollect is what i have done. Days in silence will do that to someone, behold deep down, I could have used more days. It was time to sit back and realize where my life was taking me. I came to realize after reading as much as i have and honestly, just sitting, literally sitting, in the dark, listening to nothing but the Earth around me to realize  that "our Planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves." 
 And saving is what I need.... 

I analyzed, in their broad range, my top three scenarios (in no particular order)...

1)Men

2)Friends

3)Work

ALL WRITING SEEN BELOW WILL HOLD NO LESS BANTER OR SARCASMS OR WORTH THAN I NORMALLY GIVE...

1) TO DUMP OR NOT TO DUMP; that is the question. Answer Some; leave the rest to imagination

What do you do when the connection is there, but not really there?

is it proper to take a cab home in the rain alone?
Is it proper to sleep alone in a bed with one side touched?
is it proper to justify a meaning with no end?
is it proper to wake up alone  on your stomach and fantasize?
is it proper to exploit those who need to be saved?

Is Cheating on your girlfriend appropriate while you read your mistresses blog?
The mistress is indeed  OK, with it. I bet she is wondering though why, you haven't told the girlfriend yet? Maybe she will....

Does looking for a mir image of yourself exist? Not consciously, sub-consciously; yes

Is it classy for a Lady to let him know, that he just ain't doing it for this pussy anymore?
-No in those words exactly, but yes

Can being friends with a Gay man, actually improve ones social Life?

Can wanting to sleep with a Married Man be that Bad?
-Not with this Fuckin' grin on my face...

Signing up again on a dating Website wrong, lame, desperate?
-Never

To be Continued-

Lolita #1: My Life as I see It

"I leaf again and again through these miserable memories, and keep asking myself, was it then, in the glitter of that remote life, that the rift in my life began; or was my excessive desire for Him only the first evidence of an inherent singularity?"

"You have to be an artist and a madman, a creature of infinite melancholy, with a bubble of hot poison in your loins and a super-voluptuous flame permanently aglow in your subtle spine (oh, how you have to cringe and hide!), in order to discern at once, by ineffable sighs-the slightly feline outline of a cheekbone, the slenderness of a downy limb, and other indices which despair and sham the tears of tenderness forbid me to tabulate- the little deadly demon among the wholesome children; he stands unrecognized by them and unconscious himself of his fantastic power."

"The dimmest of my pollutive dreams was a thousand times more dazzling than all the adultery the most virile writer or genius or the most talented impotent might imagine. My world was split."

"A cold I caught from him led me to cancel a fourth assignment, nor as I sorry to break an emotional series that threatened to burden me with heart-rending fantasies and peter out in dull disappointment."

"It occurred to me that regular hours, home cooked meals, all the conventions of marriage, the prophylactic routine of its bedroom activities and, who knows, the eventual flowering of certain moral values, of certain spiritual substitutes, might help me, if not to purge myself of my degrading and dangerous desires, at least to keep them under pacific control."

"He was, obviously, one of those men whose polished words may reflect a book club or bridge club, or any other deadly conventionality, but never his soul; men who are completely devoid of humor; men utterly indifferent at heart to the dozen or so possible subjects of a parlor conversation, but very particular about the rules of such conversations, through the sunny cellophane of which not very appetizing frustrations can be readily distinguished."

Untitled: #4 For you....

I swallowed all your pain,
couldn’t carry on much longer
I let you run away from me,
but I still hope that you
recognize my face through all this madness.

Life suicide machine.
I know everything’s got an ending
But what’s that mean for me?

I don’t wanna know anything about your life
Well,   I guess that’s all a lie
Cause I love to hear you're peaceful
Though it tears me up inside

Night falls again out on my pier.
The yellow stars are crying.
For this high energy
A reminder of just what it is that I need to feel alive
Do you remember how it feels?
Remember anything at all, when sorry is not allowed?

He says,  I’m lonely
And he crawls beneath me
But one thing’s always there
That one thing’s always me.

I need a better day:

Something far from the jealousy
With the blue sky and the taste of life
The silence pounding in until I’m full.
And the ghost I leave behind me, will remind you of a different time when everything seemed real.

As I pick up all these pieces
I’m crossing all my fingers love
Nothing is ever the same
it’s so hard just to fit it all
I’d give anything for another chance
On another day and another time
But for now I pray for rain.

I can’t imagine what it’s like
To imagine how you are
Do you go to sleep? Do you dream out loud? Do you cry at night?


I need a better day

Alone in One room

I've Left Myself Begging for More......

I sit here and I am enticed.

Longing for that Smell

that hand.

My fragrance sends bursts throughout every which way

I'm gently easing into a coma of eroticism.

What's Next?

Pray, Pray, Pray

Where is that Hell in your eyes been?

Where has that Hand been that ever so gently cups my flavor?

Those Lips?

Have they Sloan down?

Leather

Lace

and all the above

Digging my nails down your back

Cover my mouth so no one hears.

This is our place.

Our time

No ordinary men need apply
My throat is Dry,
lets fix this, ever so not gently

No Longer Lost, am I

Just Waiting...

Patience

No Longer an assmat

Confidence

Stellar pride

Test me once, my fault

Test me twice, shame on you.......

Life........

If there is a big decision on your plate, take your emotions out of the equation.



Overview
Elbow your way to the front of the line and make sure that you get what's coming to you. That might not come naturally to you, but it is absolutely vital you do so right now.


I was planning on writing a theme based on Death.
Instead I'm going the opposite direction.
Life.

What a waste i have made.
I'd like to tap my past on the shoulder and give it
a big
Fuck You
How dare you

What time i have wasted on impurity
on Love for things that never will exist.
Ive forgotten whats most important.
Me

Not being selfish,
being real.

Your lies of deceit and corruption
do not please me nor make me
Happy.
Why must we lie?
The truth is better.
You only have once chance to tell the Truth.
Why cover it up with a Lie?

When those close to us die we feel
angry
sad
betrayed
Stop being Selfish
You cant have someone Forever
Everything Happens For a Reason
Even Him
Even You
Move on
Find better
You deserve it

You deserve what they wanted for you before they passed

You deserve,
Love,
Peace,
Endurance,
Stamina please,
Resistance,
Gratitude,
Perseverance.

No need to find it,
its not Hidden.
Its starring at you,
dead in the eye.
Alive and Kicking.

Find your Home,
because your Home will not come looking for you.
Be brave,
blunt, honest.
Live each till its Last.
No need for destructive individuals that stereotype
others
They need to stereotype themselves.
Live your life in a Box, and that Box will
destroy you.
When your find your Path,
your Heat,
your Passion,
follow it.
It will NEVER again settle for you, except for in
the moment.

Ah, the
moment.
Embrace it.
Learn to accept what is true,
what is suppose to be.
Stop trying to change things not in
your control.
Learn this, she said from her death bed,
and Forever,
Smile.

Carry your Smile when you face Death.
Impose Jealousy for the one who takes you
away from this
World.

Untitled #3

Barcelona





I've been led on

To think that we've been

Trying for too long.

Every time we drift

We're forcing what is wrong.

At last that voice is gone.



Please take your time

But you've got to know that

I am taking sight.

Oh, you look good

with your patient face and wandering eye

Don't hold this war inside.



Come back when you can.

Let go, you'll understand.

You've done nothing at all to make me want you less.



You left your home


You're so far from


Everything you know


Your big dream is


Crashing down and out your door.


Wake up and dream once more.



Come back, I'll help you stand.

Let go and hold my hand.

If all you wanted was me, I'd give you nothing less.