The Maintenance Man

Do you remember the machine the way I do?
How it drives towards the horizon
beyond the vanishing point that I can't even make out
The machine that struggles to quench its thirst with sips from a
smoldering sun,
a copper pendant that dangles between its breast.
Wire weave spider webs over the open mouths of pipes
that run and dive around landscapes
clouded by plumes of gray smoke that threaten to sew shut our
eyes,
that stretch for miles and miles of titanium highway.

When he descends on us,
all the parts of the machine,
we do not move.
Not a single red bulb lights.
There is no siren's song
to distract him from this job at hand.

Everywhere
there is a sound
of screws that shake in their bolts,
the low whir of belts that caress the wheel,
valves that warm hands over spark plug crackles.

He traces  his fingertips over our iron flesh,
run them in and out of spokes.
There is no Love in his smile like the way
I've seen chain tenderly spoon gear.
There is no hatred in his Eyes
like the dull pummel of piston's fist against cylinder.

I have watched him forever
as he sails his very small boat astern of mine
not because I am the best sailor,
but because I don't know how to describe the wind.
I am no thief in clever disguise,
just another component with no capacity for uprise.

He laughs at me,
and begins
to strip me of my plastic coating,
peels back my skin
so nicely
that I can see the reflection of muscle and sinew across his pupil,
methodically works his way over my body
and listens to every chunk of flesh
slap against the ground.
There is no pain
when he splits my face down the middle
and cracks open my cheek.

He leaves me naked,
unnamed,
a well-oiled machine,
just the inner systems of a body
happy to be rid of her plastic coating,
and hands me this memory perdu to nestle somewhere between
unconscious creation and deja vu.

Then he ask me something I've heard before.
"Which one?"
he says.
"Choose."
And he points out
lion's roar, rainbow trout, cicada,
farmer's crop, hot wind, mouthful of cold water.

But there's something in his voice
that I seem to understand from before
that in choice there is chance,
and though he says
no one has ever succeeded
I take my chances,
and choose
human.

Untitled Post 1

Happiness / hit her / like a train on a track



Coming towards her / stuck still / no turning back


She hid around corners / and she hid under beds /


She killed it with kisses and from it she fled /


With every bubble she sank with a drink /


And washed it away down the kitchen sink.




Run fast for your mother; run fast for your father /



Run for your children all your sisters and brothers /


Leave all your love and your longing behind.


You can't carry it with you / if you want to survive


Happiness / hit her / like a bullet in the back



Struck from /a great height

The dog days are over /

The dog days are done /

Can you hear the horses/

'Cos here they come

The End is Near, yet My Beginning is Coming (I can Smell it, as Roughly as Your Öld Man Cologne)

I am Leaving for once.
Goddamn how long it has been
i am willing to extrude in a New city
i am going to do things You only dream of
I am getting wet just thinking of it

I Leave one to find Another
I am deeply sorrowed
This city only brings Doubt
Gay
Smell
Pity
Pathetic Nature

I met someone today
i will meet him again once I return
He has no Fuckin idea what is in store
I grin

You will notice my Hair has changed.
Red
Bright
Red
Like my ass after a good Cockspanking

I can't wait

I'm leaving to find my Meaning
I smile as i write that
Sober

The only thing I am leaving behind this Winter is my Dignity
The worshiping of a God that has never shown you nor I pity
Lets trade thoughts

Smile
Your End is just beginning where Mine has already passed...

I'll see you soon
Wish me Luck Dear Friend.
Be good
Keep your Legs Closed

All my Love
Slice

WED Eve (Part 2)

The rope that's wrapped around me

Is cutting through my skin

And the doubts that have surrounded me

Are finding their way in

I keep it close to me

Like a holy man prays

In my desperate hour

It's better that way

 

 

 

So I'll come by and see you again

I'll be such a very good friend


Have mercy on my soul


I will never let you know


Where my mind has been......
 
 
 
 

I've crept into your temple

I have slept upon your pew

I've dreamed of the divinity

Inside and out of you

I want it more than truth

I can taste it on my breath

I would give my life just for a little death

 

I will not look upon your face

I will not touch upon your grace


Your ecclesiastic skin



If I whisper they will know



I'll just turn around and go


You will never know my sin



WED Eve

oh, the Solitude
The never ending need to not be alone
sitting here
Dinner again, for one
My mind is the only thing that speaks to me

Step out of the body
Loose the mind
Take control of all that is left behind....

Technology lies
Anything that can be plugged into the wall is not worth calling a "friend"

Why can you not hear me?
I'm screaming in Silence at the Top of my Lungs
What I have left of them
Please


Party for one....

Mother, Masturbation is only Temporary

I am generating Heat.
I touch My face and it Burns.
She filled you with Fear
Sin.

I burn
Let me in

Where is this all coming From?
Why am I feeling like this?
Why are you feeling like this?
Show me your passion
Your Heat
Your Desire

Do you have any left?


Why is there a need?
What happened to controlling it?

Its curiosity.

I'm being Selfish once again....

Its just skin.
Its meant for this
Touching
Licking
Scratching
Wiping your Tears
Rendering you incapable of Moving
Disposing of what you think your Mother wants you to be
What she wants You to be
I'm not Mocking you
I'm generating your Pulse

Fuck your consequences

Regrets are a waste of Passion
Regrets are a waste of the Mind
Regrets are a waste of your time.
My time.


What was my name Again?



This is me being Nice.

The Door is Open....
Tonight, I feel so Weak

Signed,
"The Devil's Daughter"

(GRINDING) In the Classy Way, of Course....

I'm Wet.
I keep thinking of You.
Not you.
You.

Touch me that Once and everything else is all hazy.
I want you.
Again.

I can't keep doing this alone.
It's getting Boring.
Rubbing
Fasting
Rubbing
Holding the pillow over my head.
No one else is in this room.

Be careful not to wake the Children

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9 Times

I guess I'm picky with fucking

Well baby I give it up
it's you I could choose
don't keep me waiting

This girl's got things she needs to do




Speak on it
tell me what you need

Put your hands on me baby

Can't stop my mind from thinking of you

How am I supposed to function

Got me feelin' for your lips on my kiss
my lower Hips


Can Not stop throbbing
Release Me
Now

All night

I'm hungry

I want and I need

pour it all over me

Up till now my eyes could see

Touch me once and it's all hazy

I don't know why and I don't know how

But somehow some way you got me

I can't explain
can't comprehend 



Finish What You Started