A Little Girl"on her mothers lap on the "L"turns to me today and say "Mommy she is pretty; can I talk to her?- As I am noticing a group of young teen sparking up interest and chaos in the back of my cart. I remember when I was that age. I remember taking the Train home to Lakeview and seeing the professional woman on the train and thinking ï can't wait to be her"-I spotted David Schwimmer this morning on my way in to work. Have to get on the Western Stop more often. Maybe tomorrow I will take the Brown Line and see who I can meet. A homeless man sleeps in the early morning. He is looking for his salvation while the rest of us enter into a meaningless job that brings us no satisfaction. Bumping into my current lover and his girlfriend. Running through the rain at last only to sit in it in my seat: truly Rain? Being flashed on a Friday night on my way to a baseball game. Makes me giggle. Silly Man. Silly Man. Made my day with that..My tunes playing in my ear bringing me back to my youth. I catch a glimpse of the man I work with who is more Sad than you. His name is Edward. He sits in the dark and stares at a screen all day. Just like you. He is special might I say. Very special. Great Demeanor. Great Ass. I watch as you read your Political Books. I watch as you read the Red Eye. I hope you read my expert about you in there. Stop stalking. its not very caddy of you. P.S. Its OK..I see you every morning; same time; who are you? Does your life suck as much as the look on your face? I am tainted with being a thief of stealing her seat. Over the age of 50 deserves it; but man I am so hung over this morning. Next time; I promise. I smell Clover on you and it makes me want to smoke before I exit my train. Why do I not get off at Jackson and take you to LaSalle. I need the exercise; as do you my friend. We can walk together. Riding up the escalator i have a tendency to fall up the stairs. Laughs. its fine. i laughed too. i am a Chicago Bohemian on this train. Don't mind the cowboy boots. I stole them. i watch a Bum fight at the Monroe stop; days before stalling my train because a young man decided to take his Life there. Sad. So Sad. Wonder what he was thinking before The Jump.? I stand on the platform in a tunnel alone. i wait for the lights to approach far away. I look for the Red light to turn colors. Have you ever stood as close as you could to the platform and closed your eyes right as the train passes? Amazing. Feels Amazing. Sends shivers down my back. Are you starring at my tattoos or my ass? Probably both. Do you like my hair? Because I definitely like yours. Body language is more important to me on this train than verbal. Don't speak. Just Smile. Mase? Who has that? I do. Do i know how to use or work it? No. it never came with instructions. Passing from underground to above ground is the best Ever. its like magic. Try doing it backwards. Even better. The conductor always seems to slam on the breaks as I try to move. I'd rather stand don't get me wrong. i like to grasp the Silver pole. Chills my skin. The married couple is cute. Makes me grin. I wonder if they had sex last night or if they will later on this evening.? The Asian with the Caucasian. The Black woman with the white male. The "LP Trixi es"with their "Poser" men on from Damen? Love you all kiddos. You make my mornings and my Afternoons. The pregnant woman who stands there on a crowded cart and no one offers her their seat. is it because the color of her skin, or the wedding band missing from her left hand.? I smell Patchouli....Yeah, i like it. Not a hippy. just smells refreshing. Can you wear that tomorrow? thanks. Does your wife know that you are standing this close to me? Grins. We both know she does, but we both also know you are enjoying this more than your morning coffee with her. Your luggage is taking up my seat. i hope your bag has a good comeback for my attempt to shove it up your ass. Listen once i leave. i am Gone. I am never coming back. The odds of you and i meeting again in the same place. Never going to Be. Good Morn; Good Day; Good Eve

One Problem that stands in the heart of every attempt to solve life's riddle is the mystery of pain. Every so often we hear of an apparently innocent person experiencing some great misfortune, and there comes to our lips the question- Why? Every story of seemingly undeserved heartache cries out for an explanation:

I have hoped, I have planned, I have striven

To the Will I have added the deed;

The Best that was in me I have given,

I have prayed, but the Gods would not heed.

I have dared and reached only disaster.

I have battled and broken my lance,

I am bruised by a pitiless master

That the weak and the timid call chance.

I am old, I am bent, I am cheated

Of all that Youth urged me to Win;

But name me not with the defeated

Tomorrow again, I begin

Who never wept knows laughter but a jest;

Who never failed, no victory has sought;

Who never suffered, never lived his best;

Who never doubted, never really thought;

Who never feared, real courage has not shown;

Who never faltered, lacks a real intent;

Whose soul was never troubled has not Know

The Sweetness and the peace of real content.

Love is a path to virtue for the brave
Led by the beautiful; a great desire
In souls that are not perfect, but aspire
After perfection; a high hope to save
The noble heart from world-stains that deprave
Its purity, to lift it from the mire
And cleanse it through with agony and fire
Fit for a new life entered through the grave.
For even where no hero sheds his blood
The young tree suffers to produce the bud,
The parent through the offspring withereth:
And where no sweet soul bleeds to death in song
The body's pangs the bodily life prolong,
And birth is to the mother a sweet death

Nothing is Ever Clear. Nothing is said or wrote in any type of timeline. Nothing spoke is ever what it means.

do we speak in tones just to hear ourselves speaking? do you not read what you write or listen to what you say? Lies all lies. Neverending Lies. Do you know how to follow through? at all? It's looking like a limb torn off. Or altogether just taken apart. We're reeling through an endless fall. We are the ever-living ghost of what once was. And anything to make you smile. It is my better side of you to admire
But they should never take so long. Just to be over then back to another one.
But someone, they could have warned you. When things start splitting at the seams and now the whole thing's tumbling down. If things start splitting at the seams and now, "It's tumbling down. Hard. I'm dying to catch my breath. Oh why don't i ever learn. I've lost all my trust though i've surely tried to Turn it around. Don't tear me down. You've opened the door now don't let it close. I'm here on the edge again. I wish I could let it go. I know that I'm only one step away from turning around. So Damn close. So damn:fucking close.

I´ll break you down. I´ll take you down down. Fill you with sadness. Make your life madness. Give me a mile. I'll take a hundred miles. Such a mistake. Sorry you mistake. I know you´re here. I know you´re gone. I never asked you to stay. I'm having a hard Time. I'm making you do the hard time Too. I'm stuck in a bad way and I think i just might make you pay for it. I'll begin to let you go. When the sunlight melts the snow. Every night I drive away from you. I see the mountains I have yet to move. And you there You don't care. I wonder if you Wanted me like i wanted you...So pretty, so smart. Such a waste of a young heart! What a pity, what a shame: What's the matter with you, man?
It's a lonely truth that I can't change you: and you sure can't change me. It's hard as hell tonight to sleep. To close my eyes would be admitting my defeat. "No One would pay for a Ticket to see that........"

Bravo
Bravo
Please place The BlindFold on only in an aggressive manner. Don't waste my time? I like it in the dark. Don't you....................Welcome

back and forth
back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth back
and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth.........its never ending
At a moments glance I ma here; and yet at another I am there. i can shine
bright one moment and enjoy my surroundings:(then at another I want nothing More
then to seclude to my darkness and become another.]

Do you understand
how hard it is to be two people at once? can you comprehend?

back and
forth back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth
back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth back
and forth. Back again...

you take my breath away. this feeling of utter
completeness like i have tonight..i miss this. i miss this side. once the storm
comes back home things will change again, i have to be someone else. i have to
be the person you want me to me and not the person i want. are wants just that?;
wants? please do tell.

i;m too of age for this. don't you agree? why
live in a City built on fear and sorrow? this is not who i am. im done. accept
it or not; decide now because tomorrow i decide for you.

who are you?
why are you here? Can you please take me away? take me to the other end of this
misery. this {Body} has had enough. yet still not enough...Meow
i'd trade my
independence for my youth once more. i'd trade one Hundred years to go back and
change my ways.:or would I? You are right; probably not. You are always right
aren't you. Silly; you are. i lie. Don;t leave me. Set me Free

i hope you enjoy your day tomorrow. you do not Deserve it. i dont know
if things will ever change. please stop. please leave me. Let me be.

{my Soul cries" on Repeat...why tonight?