Arms....C. Perri

I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart


But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start



You put your arms around me

And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go

You put your arms around me and I'm home



How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around?

I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown



I hope that you see right through my walls

I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling

I'll never let a love get so close




The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved


I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone






I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth

And I've never opened up

I've never truly loved

Sir......

You've been on my mind

I grow fonder every day,

Lose myself in time

Just thinking of your face

God only knows

Why it's taking me so long

To let my doubts go

You're the only one that I want

I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before

Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all,

You never know if you never try

To forgive your past and simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only

Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms

So come on

and give me the chance

To prove that I'm the one who can

Walk that mile

until the end starts

I've been on your mind

You hang on every word I say, lose yourself in time

At the mention of my name,

Will I ever know

 how it feels to hold you close?

And have you tell me

whichever road I choose you'll go

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only

I know it ain't easy

Giving up your heart

I know it ain't easy

Giving up your heart

(Nobody's perfect, trust me I've learnt it)

"even if we ner had anything remotely in common...you can not deny our chemistry"

Chemistry is our common factor.
it is what will keep us together way after remote similarities

Lover to Lover

I've been losin' sleep,




I've been keepin' myself awake,



I've been wandering the streets,



For days and days and days,





Oh if I'm road to road,



Bed to bed,



Lover to lover,



And black to red,





But I believe,



I believe





There's no salvation for me now,



No space among the clouds,



And I've seen that I'm heading down,



But that's alright,



That's alright,



That's alright..



That's alright..










And I've been taking chances,



I've been setting myself up for the fall,



I've been keeping secrets,



From my heart and from and from my soul.





Going from road to road,



Bed to bed,



Lover to lover,





But I believe,



I believe











That's alright,



That's alright!



That's alright!





Road to road,



Bed to bed,



And lover to lover,



And black to red,



And road to road,



Bed to bed,



And lover to lover!
















Road to road!



Bed to bed!



And lover to lover!



And black to red!



And road to road



bed to bed!



Lover to lover



To lover to lover








No salvation for me now…

Sinner Like Me

Looking out from underneath,

Fractured moonlight on the sea

Reflections still look the same to me,

As before I went under.

And it's peaceful in the deep,

Cathedral where you cannot breathe,

No need to pray, no need to speak

Now I am under.

And it's breaking over me,

A thousand miles onto the sea bed,

Found the place to rest my head.

Never let me go,

never let me go.

And the arms of the ocean are carrying me,

And all this devotion was rushing out of me,

And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner like me,

Though the pressure's hard to take,

It's the only way I can escape,

It seems a heavy choice to make,

 

And it's over,

And I'm going under,

But I'm not giving up!

I'm just giving in.

Oh, slipping underneath.

Oh, so cold, but so sweet.

In the arms of the ocean, so sweet and so cold,

And all this devotion I never knew at all,

And the crashes are Heaven, for a sinner released,

And the arms of the ocean,

Deliver me.

Sweeping the Ashes.....

"I believe all the mistakes I have made in my Life, have brought me to this point....."

Happy in Romance??

someone once told me that you have to choose. what you win or lose, you can’t have everything. don’t you take chances you might feel the pain. don’t you love in vain’cause love won’t set you free. I can’t stand by the side and watch this life pass me by. so unhappy but safe as could be. so what if it hurts me? so what it I break down? so what if this world just throws me off the edge, my feet run out of ground? I gotta find my place. I wanna hear my sound. don’t care about all the pain in front of me I just trying to be happy. holding on tightly.just can’t let go just trying to play my role slowly disappear. but all these days they feel like they’re the same. just different faces different places. get me out of here. I can’t stand by the side and watch this life pass me by. so any turns that I can't see like I'm a stranger on this road but don't say victim don't say anything...

Is Romance gone?

whatever happened to romance. does chivalry even exist anymore? someone asked me today what was the secret to Women? my response was simple. Romance, I said. Just Romance. then  he asked me " what if the Romance is gone?" I told him he had nothing to live for than. its never gone, you just forgot.

By seeing beyond what is visible to the eye. Now there are those, of course, who do not share my perceptions, it's true. When I say that all my woman are dazzling beauties, they object. The nose of this one is too large; the-the hips of another, they are too wide; perhaps the breasts of a third, they are too small. But I see these women for how they truly are... glorious, radiant, spectacular, and perfect, because, I am not limited by my eyesight. Women react to me the way that they do, because they sense that I search out the beauty that dwells within until it overwhelms everything else. And then they cannot avoid their desire, to release that beauty and envelope me in it. You are a great lover like myself, even though you may have lost your way and your accent. Shall I continue?
Walking down the street late at night, heading home, and he shows up in a cab outside my door out of nowhere, unexpectedly, to just see me. He says he is Lost without me. Where has this gone? Is this possible or imaginary?
Have you never met a woman who inspires you to love? Until your every sense is filled with her? You inhale her. You taste her. You see your unborn children in her eyes and know that your heart has at last found a home. Your life begins with her, and without her it must surely end.


Men settle. Therefore, they are left with what is left, Pain.
Living in regret will be the only one thing that dies with you, lives with you. Could you live a Happy life with a heart broken? Can you forgive and forget, or just move On? Regretting is not a role most can live with. Eventually, it will consume you Alive. Regret turns to Pain; Pain turns to Anger; Anger turns to Hatred. Hatred brings us back to Regret. As sloppy as it sounds, follow the heart; embrace the Chemistry. Stop making excuses for yourself; for us Both.
 
What do you know of great love? Have you ever loved a woman until milk leaked from her as though she had just given birth to love itself, and now must feed it or burst? Have you ever tasted a woman until she believed that she could be satisfied only by consuming the tongue that had devoured her? Have you ever loved a woman so completely that the sound of your voice in her ear could cause her body to shudder and explode with such intense pleasure that only weeping could bring her full release?



nothing is perfect.
 
Every woman is a mystery to be solved
Timeless and indeed Priceless.....
That is I......
 
 
 
 
 

To you.....

So this is how the story went


I met someone by accident

who blew me away



It was in the darkest of my days

When you took my sorrow and you took my pain

And buried them away....


I wish I could lay down beside you

When the day is done

And wake up to your face against the morning sun

But like everything I've ever known

you'll disappeared one day

So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away



I dropped you off at the train station


And put a kiss on top of your head


I watched you wave


Then I went on home to my skyscrapers

Neon lights and waiting papers

That I call home

I call that home....




I woke up feeling heavy hearted

I'm going back to where I started

The morning rain today

And though I wish that you were here

On that same old road that brought me here

Is calling me home



I can't spend my whole life hiding my heart away

My Dreams and My Nightmares....

Growing up the one thing I learned from my Mother was to find one good man, love him, cherish him, and try to stay true to yourself. I envied my Mother for her love she showed my father. He deserved it. My untouched mind, like any other child, was taught that this was love. A good family, family dinners, family vacations, just plain ol' family time. I set out to quest for this....Thirty years later all that has come is Heartbreak, despair, and unfamiliar territory. I fell in Love with one thing, music, art and emotion. Collectively I have learned not from my childhood, but from myself to express that Love. I have learned that there is never a need to learn from other, but yet only from the constant mistakes we intend to make then, now and tomorrow. I could not imagine my life without the mistakes I have made. They have made me who I was, who I am, and eventually who I will be. The summer haze is gone, Glory days are here....

A woman's one weakness is the unexplained power of a man.
One man, two men, maybe three. A clear sheet prevails sometimes when it is too late.

I do not think one woman can be satisfied, we only settle.
Not this one,
at least not anymore.
Emotional pain is far worse that physical.
The heart can never heal, the body does.
As one door closes, they say, another opens? Not always.
Sometimes it is better in the end to stop reflecting, stop blaming yourself and just breathe.
Its not your fault...

I found this and it seems to be the perfect representation of my Life..... Mine got away time and time again, yet, that's just how it was suppose to be.....all due respect,
time to wake up......

heard

That you're settled down

That you

Found a girl

And you're

Married now

I heard

That your dreams came true.

Guess she gave you things

I didn't give to you

Old friend

Why are you so shy?

Ain't like you to hold back

Or hide from the light

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.

I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded

 

Never mind

 

I wish nothing but the best for you too

Don't forget me, I begged

I remember, you said

Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead.

You know how the time flies

Only yesterday

It was the time of our lives

We were born and raised

In a summer haze

Bound by the surprise

Of our glory days

 

Nothing compares

No worries or cares

Regrets and mistakes

They are memories made.

Who would have known

How bittersweet this would taste?

Dream and Nightmares

 

Short and Simple.....

Just going to stand there and watch me burn,
Thats alright because I like the way it Hurts...


Just going to stand there and hear me Cry,
Thats alright because I love the way you Lie....

Quoted-

Joyful Play..

Sometimes the best things in life come when we just sit back, look, stare, listen and Wait.....


I came to recollect and recollect is what i have done. Days in silence will do that to someone, behold deep down, I could have used more days. It was time to sit back and realize where my life was taking me. I came to realize after reading as much as i have and honestly, just sitting, literally sitting, in the dark, listening to nothing but the Earth around me to realize  that "our Planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves." 
 And saving is what I need.... 

I analyzed, in their broad range, my top three scenarios (in no particular order)...

1)Men

2)Friends

3)Work

ALL WRITING SEEN BELOW WILL HOLD NO LESS BANTER OR SARCASMS OR WORTH THAN I NORMALLY GIVE...

1) TO DUMP OR NOT TO DUMP; that is the question. Answer Some; leave the rest to imagination

What do you do when the connection is there, but not really there?

is it proper to take a cab home in the rain alone?
Is it proper to sleep alone in a bed with one side touched?
is it proper to justify a meaning with no end?
is it proper to wake up alone  on your stomach and fantasize?
is it proper to exploit those who need to be saved?

Is Cheating on your girlfriend appropriate while you read your mistresses blog?
The mistress is indeed  OK, with it. I bet she is wondering though why, you haven't told the girlfriend yet? Maybe she will....

Does looking for a mir image of yourself exist? Not consciously, sub-consciously; yes

Is it classy for a Lady to let him know, that he just ain't doing it for this pussy anymore?
-No in those words exactly, but yes

Can being friends with a Gay man, actually improve ones social Life?

Can wanting to sleep with a Married Man be that Bad?
-Not with this Fuckin' grin on my face...

Signing up again on a dating Website wrong, lame, desperate?
-Never

To be Continued-

Lolita #1: My Life as I see It

"I leaf again and again through these miserable memories, and keep asking myself, was it then, in the glitter of that remote life, that the rift in my life began; or was my excessive desire for Him only the first evidence of an inherent singularity?"

"You have to be an artist and a madman, a creature of infinite melancholy, with a bubble of hot poison in your loins and a super-voluptuous flame permanently aglow in your subtle spine (oh, how you have to cringe and hide!), in order to discern at once, by ineffable sighs-the slightly feline outline of a cheekbone, the slenderness of a downy limb, and other indices which despair and sham the tears of tenderness forbid me to tabulate- the little deadly demon among the wholesome children; he stands unrecognized by them and unconscious himself of his fantastic power."

"The dimmest of my pollutive dreams was a thousand times more dazzling than all the adultery the most virile writer or genius or the most talented impotent might imagine. My world was split."

"A cold I caught from him led me to cancel a fourth assignment, nor as I sorry to break an emotional series that threatened to burden me with heart-rending fantasies and peter out in dull disappointment."

"It occurred to me that regular hours, home cooked meals, all the conventions of marriage, the prophylactic routine of its bedroom activities and, who knows, the eventual flowering of certain moral values, of certain spiritual substitutes, might help me, if not to purge myself of my degrading and dangerous desires, at least to keep them under pacific control."

"He was, obviously, one of those men whose polished words may reflect a book club or bridge club, or any other deadly conventionality, but never his soul; men who are completely devoid of humor; men utterly indifferent at heart to the dozen or so possible subjects of a parlor conversation, but very particular about the rules of such conversations, through the sunny cellophane of which not very appetizing frustrations can be readily distinguished."

Untitled: #4 For you....

I swallowed all your pain,
couldn’t carry on much longer
I let you run away from me,
but I still hope that you
recognize my face through all this madness.

Life suicide machine.
I know everything’s got an ending
But what’s that mean for me?

I don’t wanna know anything about your life
Well,   I guess that’s all a lie
Cause I love to hear you're peaceful
Though it tears me up inside

Night falls again out on my pier.
The yellow stars are crying.
For this high energy
A reminder of just what it is that I need to feel alive
Do you remember how it feels?
Remember anything at all, when sorry is not allowed?

He says,  I’m lonely
And he crawls beneath me
But one thing’s always there
That one thing’s always me.

I need a better day:

Something far from the jealousy
With the blue sky and the taste of life
The silence pounding in until I’m full.
And the ghost I leave behind me, will remind you of a different time when everything seemed real.

As I pick up all these pieces
I’m crossing all my fingers love
Nothing is ever the same
it’s so hard just to fit it all
I’d give anything for another chance
On another day and another time
But for now I pray for rain.

I can’t imagine what it’s like
To imagine how you are
Do you go to sleep? Do you dream out loud? Do you cry at night?


I need a better day

Alone in One room

I've Left Myself Begging for More......

I sit here and I am enticed.

Longing for that Smell

that hand.

My fragrance sends bursts throughout every which way

I'm gently easing into a coma of eroticism.

What's Next?

Pray, Pray, Pray

Where is that Hell in your eyes been?

Where has that Hand been that ever so gently cups my flavor?

Those Lips?

Have they Sloan down?

Leather

Lace

and all the above

Digging my nails down your back

Cover my mouth so no one hears.

This is our place.

Our time

No ordinary men need apply
My throat is Dry,
lets fix this, ever so not gently

No Longer Lost, am I

Just Waiting...

Patience

No Longer an assmat

Confidence

Stellar pride

Test me once, my fault

Test me twice, shame on you.......

Life........

If there is a big decision on your plate, take your emotions out of the equation.



Overview
Elbow your way to the front of the line and make sure that you get what's coming to you. That might not come naturally to you, but it is absolutely vital you do so right now.


I was planning on writing a theme based on Death.
Instead I'm going the opposite direction.
Life.

What a waste i have made.
I'd like to tap my past on the shoulder and give it
a big
Fuck You
How dare you

What time i have wasted on impurity
on Love for things that never will exist.
Ive forgotten whats most important.
Me

Not being selfish,
being real.

Your lies of deceit and corruption
do not please me nor make me
Happy.
Why must we lie?
The truth is better.
You only have once chance to tell the Truth.
Why cover it up with a Lie?

When those close to us die we feel
angry
sad
betrayed
Stop being Selfish
You cant have someone Forever
Everything Happens For a Reason
Even Him
Even You
Move on
Find better
You deserve it

You deserve what they wanted for you before they passed

You deserve,
Love,
Peace,
Endurance,
Stamina please,
Resistance,
Gratitude,
Perseverance.

No need to find it,
its not Hidden.
Its starring at you,
dead in the eye.
Alive and Kicking.

Find your Home,
because your Home will not come looking for you.
Be brave,
blunt, honest.
Live each till its Last.
No need for destructive individuals that stereotype
others
They need to stereotype themselves.
Live your life in a Box, and that Box will
destroy you.
When your find your Path,
your Heat,
your Passion,
follow it.
It will NEVER again settle for you, except for in
the moment.

Ah, the
moment.
Embrace it.
Learn to accept what is true,
what is suppose to be.
Stop trying to change things not in
your control.
Learn this, she said from her death bed,
and Forever,
Smile.

Carry your Smile when you face Death.
Impose Jealousy for the one who takes you
away from this
World.

Untitled #3

Barcelona





I've been led on

To think that we've been

Trying for too long.

Every time we drift

We're forcing what is wrong.

At last that voice is gone.



Please take your time

But you've got to know that

I am taking sight.

Oh, you look good

with your patient face and wandering eye

Don't hold this war inside.



Come back when you can.

Let go, you'll understand.

You've done nothing at all to make me want you less.



You left your home


You're so far from


Everything you know


Your big dream is


Crashing down and out your door.


Wake up and dream once more.



Come back, I'll help you stand.

Let go and hold my hand.

If all you wanted was me, I'd give you nothing less.

are

let's pretend that we have colds and lie in bed and wear our robes around the house. reading basement books of old and dusty words of stories told about somewhere else.  no one else can see the seams that saw the air into our dreams when we are young because.  we are.  oh,  i can't take your  breath away but i'll show you a brand new way with brand new love.  i can't mend your wounded heart but i'll give you a brand new start.  let's pretend we never lie and tell our truths and then let's cry real tears this time.  we'll stain our lips with the colour of wine and then we kiss and everything is fine again. it's cold outside but we are warm inside each other we are born. oh jesus christ. we are

Without Women...

Today a daughter and a princess

Tomorrow a mother or a mistress



Up! Up! Up! Women

Stop! Stop! Stop! Women

Perhaps true, perhaps true



Women are amazing creatures

Moulded with dazzling features

Women are an object of mystery

Have their own place in history



Women are great

They make the best dates

Except when they turn up very late



Without women

What will become of us?

No more noises on the bus

No one to make all the fuss



Without women

What will become of men?

Who will teach them,

How to behave and learn?



Women are the spicy ingredient of romance

Women are the juicy parent of importance

Women are a heavenly treasure

The epitome of human pleasure


Without women

Would this earth have survived?



Without women

Imagine how many will feel deprived



Women are simply delicious

Beware they can be serious

Especially when suspicious

And turn to Mrs Vicious



Women are priceless

Without women

Life will be without spice

Simply lifeless

Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.


I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size

But when I start to tell them,

They think I'm telling lies.

I say,

It's in the reach of my arms

The span of my hips,

The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.



I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.

I say,

It's the fire in my eyes,

And the flash of my teeth,

The swing in my waist,

And the joy in my feet.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.



Men themselves have wondered

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can't touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them

They say they still can't see.

I say,

It's in the arch of my back,

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I'm a woman


Now you understand

Just why my head's not bowed.

I don't shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.

When you see me passing

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It's in the click of my heels,

The bend of my hair,

the palm of my hand,

The need of my care,

'Cause I'm a woman

Almost Lovers...

Songwriters: Sudol, Alison Loren




Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind, images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes, clever trick
I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me in the shade
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you would never ever forget these images, no

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot try the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
you're gone and I'm haunted
I bet you are just fine


Did I make it that easy to walk Right in and out of my life?

Quotes?...

"How the faces of love change, turning the pages. I have changed, all but you, you have remained ageless."

"Don't get so excited, if I come home a little late at night..."

"Just trust in me, as I trust in you."

"What good is a love affair, when you can't see eye to eye"

"For my mind to wonder, I dreamed of you again"

"She will find you..."

"I'm not giving you more than I can give"

"I don't know what day it is, I had to check the paper"

"I'm funny? It's becasue I am not clever"

"I do feel very fortunate to see and experience the things I have. It just makes it more important to me to keep looking for them...."

"Do you remember? Last week, how you held me tight that night? How you drove me crazy?"

"Theres no use in me, ive done everything and now, Im sick of trying. Throwing away my nights and wasting all my days...."

""Warm breaths....on your thighs"

"Slipping throguh a hole where the moon dont shine, spent too long. Kept on running, but fell behind"

"Lost my place in the light again..."

"Hold....Hold...on"

"I am very Timid. Except around you. When I am in the same room as you I become overwhelmed and my mind becomes foggy. Its oddly strange, yet enticing."

"I dont want to give up."

"No body knows where the Hell I've been..."

"

Peace in Words/ Acceptance

I drink good coffee every morning

Comes from a place that's far away

And when I'm done I feel like talking

Without you here there is less to say

I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy

What is closer to the truth

That if I lived till I was 102

I just don't think I'll ever get over you

I'm no longer moved to drink strong whisky

'Cause I shook the hand of time and I knew

That if I lived till I could no longer climb my stairs

Your face it dances and it haunts me

Your laughter's still ringing in my ears

I still find pieces of your presence here

Even after all these years

But I don't want you thinking I don't get asked to dinner

'Cause I'm here to say that I sometimes do

Even though I may soon feel the touch of "love

There's still you

"

grateful...

I'm loose
Truth
I'm Like Inception; I play with your Brain he thinks
You will Loose

Grateful

-To Breathe
-To walk down this street and feel the cold breeze
-To feel the warm sun on my bare skin and shiver
-To be able to smile
-To be able to be touched
-To feel a hand on me: a hand with some kind of meaning behind it
-To have anxiety
-To have a heart that beats and not a heart that Breaks
-TO NOT BE SCARED OF SILENCE, MINUS THE MUSIC
-To not be Alone, again...

Laugh/Smile/Love/

When I woke up this morning, things were lookin' bad



Seem like total silence was the only friend I had


Bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down... and won


And it was twelve o'clock before I realized


That I was havin' .. no fun



But fortunately I have the key to escape reality


And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile


It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while


Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone


No I'm just tryin' to have me some fun






Last time I checked my bankroll,


It was gettin' thin


Sometimes it seems like the bottom


Is the only place I've been


I Chased a rainbow down a one-way street... dead end


And all my friends turned out to be insurance salesmen







Well, I sat down in my closet with all my overalls


Tryin' to get away


From all the ears inside my walls


I dreamed the police heard


Everything I thought... what then?


Well I went to court


And the judge's name was Hoffman






No.  I'm just tryin' to have me some fun


Well done, hot dog bun, my sister's a nun

Sweep the Ashes Please

Wish you would have told me when I was young

When I had space to fill and someone to become,
'Cause darling I'm beside myself and I don't think that you

Know which one of me you are talking to

I'm tired of trying to make it up to you

Sweeping the ashes and hiding the truth

I'm tired of pretending everything's alright

Let me feel, let me feel what I'm feeling tonight

Wish you would have warned me before today

That you had fallen out, your love had gone away

Wish I could have stopped you before you left

It was a lesson that you left behind instead,

Taking the easy way out every time

Come with me.....

I ran outside, right into you, and instantly you said you knew

that you were the only one, I'd ever need to know

You said you knew the answers

and you said, that it's just another day

I came here with a voice, a chance to make a choice

an island of a mind, with bridges built with time

I'm not saving grace, use it all the time

sometimes it gets misplaced, denies that it is mine

and then I just can't see, I get lost in misery

Come with me

"I don't want your Love...."

Words. Funny little things. Everyone uses them. Few use them properly. Whether written, spoken or gestured, their power is intangible. Written in conversations or constitutions they can be freeing and protective. Used in society as labels they can be restrictive. We were taught as kids "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Could anything be further from the Truth?

Words are Powerful, so I will choose mine wisely.

I know I dreamed you to be.........You were sent into Life.

The things You wanted,
I had them for you.
You know I can not let you just slide through my hands.

Watch me Suffer

'"I don't want your love,"
I told her.

I think she took it the wrong way.

Baby, baby, baby,
come back, come back...
you didn't let me finish.

I said I don't want your love
for tax purposes.

I don't want your love
bearing the twin corpses
of tradition and overpopulation
in its arms like
dusty wedding garments.

I don't want your love
steeped in the bitter waters of jealousy,
dripping self-righteous rage in my eyes
when I look astray
and no, I don't want you
to make my bed....

I want you to help me mess it up.

I want your love raw and bleeding,
pulsating, delirious.

I want your love to rip through your body
like electricity, your back arching spasmodically
your frame barely able to contain it all.

I want your love sevenfold:
once for each of my senses
and twice more to make sure
it takes it rightful place
among the Great Wonders of the World!

I want your love
dripping from my beard
when I come up for air,
and I resent the air,
I resent the fact that I need it
when all I want to do is plunge
back into the Great Divide.

I am facing the place we came from.

Tonight,
I want your love
to bloom like a rose,
and I fully expect your thorns
to mark my back.

I'll find your most ticklish spot
and slap it
while I bite your second most ticklish spot!

I'll stick my tongue so far into your ear
I'll taste brains,
and I'll make you cum them out!

I'll overload your senses,
caressing your every part with mine
until I'm like ten lovers,
and just between you, me,
and this room full of sexy people,
tonight I'll make you scream
louder that I can!

Tonight I want your love
sweating and panting,
collapsing, then napping
in the perfect moment
before conversation
becomes relevant again.

We have pushed each other's bodies
to the breaking point
and kept each other safe-
it feels like our lives
were in each other's hands.

This is love.

No monogamy,
no drama,
no bullshit....
just love.

Call it lust if you want,
but the rose
still smells
so sweet.

She said WHAT??! #3

Participants:


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ladyfriend123, britamcsheffery



Messages:

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ladyfriend123: Mmmmm.

britamcsheffery: morning lady friend

ladyfriend123: Are you off monday?

britamcsheffery: nope

ladyfriend123: Damn

ladyfriend123: So I need some advice

britamcsheffery: i wish i kind of want to take it off... been trying to play sick all week.

ladyfriend123: Greenmill sunday, fyi. I'm reading

ladyfriend123: So......anyhoo

britamcsheffery: earlier this week, i thought i was getting pink eye... and now i think i need to start executing a plan.

ladyfriend123: For what?

britamcsheffery: to take a damn day off

ladyfriend123: Ah.

britamcsheffery: i dont just call off... if i want a day off i play sick all week at work and then bam call off... because then everyones like... oh man shes been sick all week.. she needed the day off.

ladyfriend123: Wow. Spicy move

britamcsheffery: yeah its pretty clever.

britamcsheffery: then no one can be like... i bet brit just wanted a day off... nope remember ive been sick all week.

britamcsheffery: funny thing is.. my eye has been dry and red all week, so its the perfect excuse for pink eye, which in all cases means you HAVE to call off due to it contagious demeanor.

She said WHAT??!! #2

Participants:


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ladyfriend123, britamcsheffery



Messages:

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ladyfriend123: Top of the mornin' to ya

britamcsheffery: morning lady friend

ladyfriend123: It nice out. Would be better with the Sun

britamcsheffery: yeah i know. i want to ride my bike, but i fear its even too cold for that.

ladyfriend123: So I think my new blog is getting mixed signals. :(

britamcsheffery: why

ladyfriend123: Yeah. There's steam coming off my coffee outside so prob not a good idea to bike ride

ladyfriend123: Not sure why. Maybe I'm over analyzing

ladyfriend123: I think a lot when I have days off

britamcsheffery: why are you off again

britamcsheffery: i am going to get some coffee hangon.

britamcsheffery: omg

ladyfriend123: Boss took a personal day

britamcsheffery: i gotta tell you about barry

ladyfriend123: Oh god.........

ladyfriend123: He's got the "baby" thing

britamcsheffery: so lemme recap.

britamcsheffery: no.

britamcsheffery: on valentines day, he took me to dinner and i was complaining abotu not getting flowers.. after dinner the flowers were in the car.

ladyfriend123: Mmmmm. K

britamcsheffery: i left them in the car when we went into his house after dinner, and hes like you should probably put them in water.. and i was like nah its okay its cold outside.

britamcsheffery: then i fell asleep and hes lke you realyl need to get your flowers. and i go no its fine ill get them in the morning.

britamcsheffery: well the next day we got into a fight about the damn flowers.. and i was like shove them up your ass i dont want them.

britamcsheffery: yesterday... he picks me up from shopping, and i bring the flowers inside my house... inside there was a card and diamond earrings.

ladyfriend123: So you jumped the gun? Or you didn't really care for the flowers and you expressed your disinterest in the wrong way?

britamcsheffery: no i just figured they were flowers and left them in the car. i didnt know there was a card and earrings hidden inside.

ladyfriend123: So what are your thoughts now?

britamcsheffery: i felt like such an ass hole kim\

ladyfriend123: Its ok. Its just a part of growing. You in a relationship. Let it pass. Learn from it.

britamcsheffery: my thoughts now are... wow here i am being a jerk, thinking this guy only cares about work.

britamcsheffery: and honestly i think he does really care about me (not just because he bought he diamond earrings) but because he does spend his free time with me not his friends.

britamcsheffery: i think personally we are patched up... just need to work on bedroom

ladyfriend123: Well, my thoughts...:

britamcsheffery: sure

ladyfriend123: The "bedroom" manner is at its best when the "non-bedroom" is at its worst. Does that make sense?

britamcsheffery: a little but we never really had any real outside the bedroom problems

ladyfriend123: You learn to make an effort when you have problems. When you try to focus on problems in the relationship you take that effort into the bedroom also. You want to make sure your partner is happy in and out of the bedroom

ladyfriend123: Not saying problems are good. But I don't think they are problems. I think they are obstacles.

ladyfriend123: A learning process

britamcsheffery: good point

ladyfriend123: Try breathing in the bad and ex haling the good

ladyfriend123: I'm excited for saturday meditation. You?

britamcsheffery: yes

ladyfriend123: Good

britamcsheffery: you mean breathing in the good, exhaling the bad

ladyfriend123: No. Opposite. Think about it

ladyfriend123: You breathe in peoples bad, pain and ex hale good onto them

britamcsheffery: it doesnt make sense.

britamcsheffery: thats the selfless way of looking at it... where as i guess i am looking at it selfishly

ladyfriend123: Anyone is strong enough to take on someone elses pain and release theirr good energy back. Its not your pain so you shouldn't have to hold onto it

ladyfriend123: But in turn give it back as good energy

britamcsheffery: im way confused...

ladyfriend123: Ok. Example. Your "pain" with Barry is not mine but when you tell me what you're feeling and the "pain" you have, I take it in. In turn I give you back "good". You release your "pain" onto me and I in turn make it into something "good".

britamcsheffery: recycling

ladyfriend123: Exactly

britamcsheffery: oh i see.

ladyfriend123: Its a new phase for me. Training the mind. I feel good taking this on...refocusing the mind, ya know

britamcsheffery: right now yahoo said you were hammering out a wicked comeback

ladyfriend123: Hahahahahahahahaha!!

ladyfriend123: There it is...

britamcsheffery: i am pretty good at refocusing. i just tend to go off the rails some times. which is when i lock my self away.

ladyfriend123: Yeah, but what can you learn from doing that? To lock yourself away more?

ladyfriend123: That's not fun

britamcsheffery: no i just like to center myself.

britamcsheffery: i find that if i have unfinished business mentally, going out puts it on the back burner and gets stored in the vault... which causes for bigger break downs.

ladyfriend123: And more stress. You need to release that.

britamcsheffery: yeah well i want to kick box or something.

britamcsheffery: fight.

britamcsheffery: do you know they have women mma

ladyfriend123: Oh god....that makes me nervous you know that. There can only be one Kimbo Slice here girly

britamcsheffery: yeah i know.

britamcsheffery: i kind of want to do mma.

britamcsheffery: but id have a lot of training to do.

britamcsheffery: so it just makes me want to fight.

ladyfriend123: Yeah. Find another way to clear your mind

britamcsheffery: hm.

britamcsheffery: sorry was busy for a min.

britamcsheffery: how are you getting to meditation

ladyfriend123: Blueline

She said WHAT??!! #1

Participants:
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ladyfriend123, britamcsheffery

Messages:
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ladyfriend123: He has devil eyes. So tempting. He just stares at me, silent
britamcsheffery: and you spill your heart
ladyfriend123: What
britamcsheffery: well if he just stares silent, whose doing the talking
ladyfriend123: Me
britamcsheffery: right and you are talking passionately or vaguely
ladyfriend123: Both
britamcsheffery: hm.
britamcsheffery: what are his reactions like.
britamcsheffery: it sounds like you are talking to a third party, which in reality could be good for you.
ladyfriend123: Smiles. Blushes. Grins.
ladyfriend123: Stares
britamcsheffery: he has no bias judgments to make because he doesn't know you.
britamcsheffery: there is no connection so theres no way to be attached.
britamcsheffery: you may have your self a strictly platonic.
ladyfriend123: Ah, the magic word.
ladyfriend123: But those hands. That chin. Mouth. What about all those things? Don't they count?
britamcsheffery: body parts don't talk.
ladyfriend123: Eh, fuck it. They dont
britamcsheffery: nope.
ladyfriend123: Schwing
ladyfriend123: !
britamcsheffery: they speak evil... like hey look at me... im sexy but have no substance.
ladyfriend123: Evil? Sexy without substance is not evil, its....normal
britamcsheffery: its evil.
ladyfriend123: We talk about books. Aspirations. Goals. Meaning
britamcsheffery: in the end it gets you attached, and you're like holy shit what was I doing.
ladyfriend123: Ah, right. Its the eyes. It will only ever be the eyes....
britamcsheffery: i mean barry is starting to lose his substance.
ladyfriend123: Daydreaming, sorry
ladyfriend123: Ah...do tell
britamcsheffery: I just sent him a long email being like... too much repetition need more passion
britamcsheffery: and he was like sorry if we are boring
ladyfriend123: He's being defensive. Its like small dick syndrome.
britamcsheffery: and we aren't boring, and im not a huge talker, unless its about things that interest me.
ladyfriend123: Does he interest you?
britamcsheffery: i know.
britamcsheffery: yes. but i have a low attention span
ladyfriend123: <3 ladyfriend123: Sorry britamcsheffery: ah its okay. im sure we will work through it. ladyfriend123: Do u want to work through it? britamcsheffery: yeah i am really attracted to him. i mean i think hes sexy. i think hes smart. we have a good time. i just need more passion. ladyfriend123: Such as? britamcsheffery: in the bed. britamcsheffery: lacking in the bed. britamcsheffery: hes on top. im on top. britamcsheffery: i havent had an orgasm in a month ish
britamcsheffery: maybe less than a month.
britamcsheffery: but in all fairness ive been having a hard time masturbating too.
ladyfriend123: Why? Stress?
britamcsheffery: hes been rubbing me the wrong the way or something
britamcsheffery: he used to give me the BEST orgasms.
britamcsheffery: I mean fucking awesome cant catch my breath holy shit orgasms.
ladyfriend123: Maybe its time for this to pass. I mean you've only known him for a few months and you're talking like a 50yr old married couple. Maybe your time has "passed". Don't force something bc you're too selfish to let them go
britamcsheffery: now... nothing.
britamcsheffery: i actually make him stop.
britamcsheffery: i say to him.. im not going to come just stop.
ladyfriend123: I haven't orgasmed since the summer of 69' sista...so, ah, yeah.
britamcsheffery: WHAT
britamcsheffery: even by yourself?
ladyfriend123: Yup
britamcsheffery: why
ladyfriend123: Meaningless.
britamcsheffery: why!!!!!!!
britamcsheffery: are you nuts?
ladyfriend123: Its hard to explain
britamcsheffery: i really enjoy masturbating. im going to get a new vibrator today because the one i have is bad
ladyfriend123: Oh my..!
ladyfriend123: Its hard to talk about sex when you don't want it anymore
britamcsheffery: yeah its like this metal silver thing and the vibration hurts my hand.
ladyfriend123: Um. Please stop.
britamcsheffery: my old one was stolen by that girl
britamcsheffery: and i broke the one i bought after that.
britamcsheffery: i need to get my groove back!
ladyfriend123: Ummm yeah. Awkward
britamcsheffery: why?
ladyfriend123: So can we get back to devil eyes? ;)
britamcsheffery: why does it always have to be about you!
britamcsheffery: i am trying to talk about a legit problem i am having too.
ladyfriend123: Got cha!
ladyfriend123: Chill vibrator queen of the "nile"
ladyfriend123: I was joking
britamcsheffery: im on the hunt!
britamcsheffery: i get aggressive when i am sexually unsatisfied.
ladyfriend123: I want to help you. Not physically but mentally.
ladyfriend123: Yeah ya do.
britamcsheffery: or when i feel like i am not satisfying him.
ladyfriend123: I think I should be a nun
ladyfriend123: I use to be so good at oral sex. Man, I miss that.
ladyfriend123: No intention of "downing" your man, just saying
britamcsheffery: i never really go down on barry. i feel like he just wants to jump right into sex.
ladyfriend123: Um. Yeah. Not good yo...I use to be like that
ladyfriend123: Its the "your part fits with my part" but we know this. What about all the "other" tuff?
ladyfriend123: Stuff
britamcsheffery: he went down on me the other morning, and i was thinking... gee since he hasnt done this in a while i dont think im goignt o come. and i didnt.
britamcsheffery: you cant throw an element of surprise in there like that.
britamcsheffery: especially in the morning.. i mean i was farting in my sleep all night. and now you want to spring down there.
britamcsheffery: he doesnt go front to back. but there is an occasional finger which is okay. all in all there is room for improvement.